'Sup y'all!

I am currently watching the countdown at Huishan's house! :D She is super high today. And just now her dad drove us to Sengkang to cut Huishan's hair (cus her aunt's hair salon is there). We sang on the car and I think her family members think I am positively insane now. Oh noes! :O

Anyway I am really bummed I can't see the fireworks, but nevermind! :) I shall get to see them next year!! :D Because by then, my parents SHOULD let me stay out till midnight!!! :D :D :D :D I seriously cannot wait for 2010, because I'll officially turn 16 (even though I have to wait damn long since my bday's on Dec -.-) and ... a lil bit more freedom! :)

No offence, but the countdown show, I REALLY DISLIKE THE SINGING. I mean, not really pleasant to the ears, but oh well! One shouldn't expect too much. Alright, have to run now and accompany the human duck (and rabbit) which is Huishan. She just quacked at me. And she looks like a bunny in her neoprints.

We are making a bubble pyramid!!! It is half my height. I am 158cm. Huishan says I am so short when I am taller than her. She is jealous. :)

Oh yeah she has been dancing all day and night too ... like seriously. And laughing also! HAHAHAHA. I am really happy now! :D :D :D Even though, y'know, I'm still being ignored by someone. But its okay. It'll be over soon.

Nights y'all, have a great night <3

- Edit -

I'm reading this book called "The Official Hugs Book" and I really like this part:

Hugs as Therapy
Bad hair day - 2 hugs
Discouraging remark - 4 hugs
Rude salesclerk - 6 hugs
Aggressive motorist - 5 hugs
Rush-hour traffic - 7 hugs
Air travel - 8 hugs
Unexpected bill - 3 hugs
IRS audit - 9 hugs
Mother-in-law visit - 20 hugs

I SHALL COME UP WITH MY OWN LIST. BWAHAHAHHAHHA

- /Edit -

I see my world in a swirl of hues,

but my favourite colour is shame.

-

Proper update with pictures ... soon. I left my baby camera with Huishan! :( :( :( Meanwhile just go on and read, won't hurt you. Much. I guess. :B

Alright since it's just a couple more hours (20+ hours, I guess. Or 30+. I was never good at Maths!) I shall blog about my 2008 since tomorrow I'll be out! :)

2008 ... nothing spectacular happened.

Well, besides A asking me out. Getting closer to some of my classmates who are now considered some of my best friends. Falling out with best friends. Patching up with some of them. Getting threatened by an ex (DUMB DUMB DUMB). Receiving a bouquet of flowers for the second time. Drank beer (but that was ONCE AND NEVER AGAIN!). Realized that some guys whom I've classified as lowlife are actually not that bad. Pierced my tragus just to irritate my dad (heh). Starting to grab everyone's butts and shouting 'BUTT GRAB!', even in public (HEH HEH). Received a real diamond necklace. Received real gold earrings. Got scammed of freaking $702 (F YOU WEITING [the person who scammed me, not the ones I know]). Picked up knitting again.

:)

Pictures not in order because I can't be arsed.











Wah last time my hair so long ah NOW SHORT LIKE SHIT.



I am a perfect housewife HAW HAW HAW.



Sorry Huishan don't kill me pwease I lublub you.



Long hair blarghhhhh long hair blarghhhhhh



I am looking at UFOs in the black sky ~~~



I am overdressed! I have no eyelashes! I am a bunny! I disturb people!





I POST UP PEOPLE'S CANDIDS BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA. Ok actually it's not candids but LOOK AT JENIES' FACES (pink polo shirt, black shorts)!!!!!!!!!



Guess who. ITS CAROLYN, NO SHIT. And her brother.



Two idiots + one lil bro.





Huishan siao one.






I fervently pray that Jennifer is still as retarded. Oh and she just messaged me that she met the man of her dreams in Bali.



First time (i think??? I HAVE POOR MMR) someone else besides my family bought me a birthday cakeeee! Thanks ah Huishan (and Joanne, I rmbed HS told me you chipped in)





Can still remember the convo.

Joyce: Wait before you eat, must mix the sundae, then nicer!
Me: Mix? Mix the ice cream and chocolate together ah issit.
Joyce: YES! Ok wait let me mix for you. *takes my sundae and mixes*
Joyce: Nah. Try. VERY NICE.
Jenies (who was also there): Yeah its nice.
Me: Um okay *tries it* Eh not bad ah.
Joyce: Told youuuuu ~

THIS WAS ALSO THE DAY I WAS SCAMMED OF $702.




You see???? YOU SEE ALL THE MONEY??? All gone. Wtf. My heart's not ripped into two, but into PIECES.




I look as if shaking Ms Quek's hand will lead me to my death. -___- Promoted to Patrol Second! :D




One of the reason why I dread going for Guides: must clip up fringe.



BUT IMMA REBEL WITH DAMN SMALL EYES, BABY.





This one damn classic.







Retard for a boyfriend. Ok I think this was taken in 2007 cus he has piercings (I THINK?) here but wtv this is most retarded pic I could find.




Can still rmb the day I went to the airport with Jen and ate at TCC and ended up with NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY THE BILL AND ENDED UP BEGGING ALBERT TO COME AND SAVE US BUT ENDED UP GETTING SAVED BY A KIND EMPLOYEE THAT GAVE US A DISCOUNT.

"I AM NEVER GOING TO TCC WITH YOU AGAIN!!!!"
- Jennifer




Jennifer invading my bed.



Maggie teaching me algebra! WITH SNACKS! The day I finally got grasp of algebra.



I saw ponies, ok HORSES (with bangs! HAHA), while doublebiking with Huishan!!!! :D

SO.

I have to go now. HAHAHAH SO ANTI-CLIMAX EH WEILING. :P But will update more later. Took me two hours to do this post mainly cus I was knitting as well. And now its late and I shall go sleep and have a fun time counting down to 2009 tomorrow and find some time to update this shizzzzz. NIGHTS Y'ALL.

Wooooooooooo, I started this post on the 30th and now it's already 31st. About 10 more hours to 2009, I am sexcited! :D :D :D :D 2008 has been an awesome year, as it has been with every other year. :)

I don't get why people always say "(current year) IS SUCH A SUCKY YEAR!!!! SUCKS LIKE HELL!!! BOOOO!!!!" and not just for one year but for like, every single year ... like dude, I mean, how can every single year suck? :/ Okay shall not elaborate more before people comment, "Yeah lah yeah lah your life very good." Like how someone did when I mentioned this ... *raise one eyebrow*

But overall, for me, it has been an awesome year! ;) Sure, I lost some friends along the way, but that's just the way things are. Friends won't be here forever, y'know? Friends come and go. And I've learned so many things, like ... (ok I am going to prattle on and on again)

I've learned that breaking up with a boyfriend is way easier than breaking up with a best friend. I've learned that if I want my life to be a magnificent story, I have to realize that I am the author of MY life, and that everyday, I have the opportunity to write a new page. I've learned that I am the cause of countless disappointments, mistakes and failures, but I know that there is still a part of me that is worth believing in. I've learned that what we do doesn't define who we are, what defines us is how well we rise after falling.

I've learned that tough people are that way because no one was there to wipe their tears away, no one was there to help them in their time of need and not because they were born that way. I've learned from my bad choices and even though there are some things that I can never take back, or people that will never be sorry, I'll know better next time and I won't settle for anything less then I deserve. I've learned that our days would be happier if we gave people a little bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind, although once you gave a piece away, it is one that you will never get back. I've learned that most of the time, love doesn't really need words.

I've learned that when you judge another, you are not defining them, but defining yourself. I've learned that life does not accommodate you, it shatters you. It is meant to, and it couldn't do it better, for every seed destroys its container, else there would be no fruition.

"So fail. Be bad at things. Be embarrassed. Be afraid. Be vulnerable. Go out on a limb or two or twelve and you will fall and it’ll hurt; but the harder you fall, the farther you will rise. The louder you fall, the clearer your future becomes. Failure is a gift, welcome it. Failure is the mother of success, know it. There are people who spend their whole lives wondering how they became the people they became. How certain chances pass them by, why they didn’t take the roads less traveled. Those people aren’t you. You have front row seats to your own transformation, and in transforming yourself, you might even transform the world. Be the change you want to see in the world. It will be electric, it will be terrifying. Embrace that; embrace the new person you’re becoming. This is your moment. I promise you, it is now. Now, not two minutes from now, not tomorrow, but really now. Own that; know that deep in your bones and go to sleep every night knowing that. Wake up every morning remembering that and then… keep going."

One of the most inspiring quote I've read.

I've also learned that life will disappoint you and people you trust will let you down. I've learned that there is only one way to fall: fast and hard. I've learned that words can be deceiving, but the truth always lies in a person's eyes. I've learned that weapons don't hurt people, people hurt people. I've learned that dwelling on the past is a waste of time, for the past is the past and what's done is done. Your history can't be erased, but your future has yet to be written, so I have to make the most of what's going to happen instead of worrying about what I can't change. I've learned that everyone is someone's hero. I've learned that some things aren't meant to be understood and that time doesn't heal anything. I've learned that it is never too late to fall in love. I've learned that being beautiful is all on the inside.

I've learned that mistakes are our best teachers and that not everything must happen for a reason. I've learned that there's so many different variations of alone; There is the alone of being caught in a throng of people. There is the alone of missing a particular person. And there is the alone of being with a particular person and realizing you're still alone. I've learned that most people don't know who they are, that's why they lie. They're afraid someone else will figure it out before they do.

I've learned that when a guy sweeps you off your feet, he is also in the perfect position to drop you on your ass. I've learned that when a heart breaks, it also opens. I've learned that a person don't have to be perfect to be what I need. I've learned that you forgive people not because you are weak, but because you are strong enough to know people make mistakes. I've learned that life isn't about finding yourself, but creating yourself.

I've learned that for some moments in life, there are no words (credits to Willy Wonka). I've learned that some friendships are just not meant to be salvaged. I've learned that the love you take should be equal to the love you make.

I've learned that some things, we just have to learn over and over and over again. I've learned that our old wounds teach us something, they remind us where we've been, remind us what to avoid in the future. I've learned that I am a meatarian (HAHA). I've learned that hope is a dangerous thing to lose (credits to the tv show 'Lost'). I've learned that there can be no one that can be as me-er as me, or as you-er as you (geddit? HAHA).

I've learned that people can tread me in the very dirt, but still, like dust, I will rise (credits to Maya Angelou). I've learned that until I am broken, I won't know what I'm made of. I've learned that nobody can handle me at my worst (:P). I've learned that I shouldn't waste my time being sad, because I'm wasting away moments in which I could be happy.

I've learned that you have to stand for what you believe in, and sometimes, you have to stand alone (credits to Queen Latifah). I've learned that breaking down can be a good thing sometimes, you let out all of your sadness and anger. Once that is all gone, all you have left inside of you are the good memories. I've learned that I am the only person that can bring back the bad again, and that I am also the only person to bring happiness for myself. I've learned that its the words, not actions, that matters. I've learned that it's always a challenge to stick by a friend who's making choices we disagree with, and are sometimes dangerous, but it's at these times that our friends need us the most.

I've learned that most of the time, no one wants the truth. I've learned that sometimes, it's best to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve. I've learned to watch my limit, for we are all something, but none of us are everything (credits to Blaise Pascal). I've learned to never underestimate the impossible, for unsinkable ships has sunk, unbreakable walls has broke, unbendable steel has bend. Sometimes the things you think would never happen, happens just like that.

I've also learned not to prattle on too much so I SHALL END HERE RIGHT NOW :) It's 4:33pm now, wow, only 8 more hours to a brand new spankin' year! ;)

My very last post for the year 2008 (or second). And also the longest, I think? :) Anyway, shall rush to Huishan's house now! Have a great dayyyyyyy! :D

Disillusioned fool

YOU DON'T KNOW MY PAST, SO DON'T TALK, FORYOU DON'T KNOW SHIT.

BUT I KNOW. I KNOW ABOUT YOU. I know all about you, alright. You're a scandalous, malicious bastard. You hurt my friend (worse, you've hurt how many other girls), you hurt me too. But I'm different, I am NOT going to let you get away with it, I am going to hurt you back too, by tenfold. But that is letting you off lightly.

You know who you are. I'm not going to name names, I'm giving you one last shred of your dignity. Preserve it well, before I strip it all to pieces, because I can. Don't underestimate me. You've came up with stories about me, but no one is believing (and will never believe) them, y'know? No one is on your side. Karma, it's called karma, baby. You hurt, then you get hurt.

You are a poor excuse of a man. You are not even a man. A man don't make woman, or girls, cry. Don't hurt them. Don't confuse them. Don't make them wait forever. But you did, you did them all. You are ... inhumane, you are a fucked up joke of a life.

There are those who love to play games, any game. And then there are those who love to play too much. You belong to the latter, you play too much and you not just play with the girl, you play with their feelings, you play with their hearts, and you play with just about everything and before you leave, you make sure you've completely destroyed your 'game', or 'pawn'. Because that's how heartless you are.

And even then, that's not enough, that's not enough for you, goddamnit. Completely destroying them is not enough, that's not enough FUN. So you make them want you, need you. Think of you. Miss you till the very thought of you drives one to insanity. And not just miss you, but miss your voice, your touch, your eyes, your lips, your everything. Then you reject them out flat. Their pain, tears, hurt, agony, suffering are your drug, your motivation to keep living, isn't that so? No? Then why do you keep doing that?

Such a disappointment, isn't it, now that they are sick of playing the fool, sick of playing by your rules, sick of being hopelessly devoted to you, sick of it all.

And you, you're the one suffering now. I'm not going to waste any more words on you. You're lucky that your 'pawns' are all so forgiving, else the consequences would not be good, for I'll give you hell.

To my girlfriend, be strong. You have to be strong for yourself. You have to know you're a good person (and a wonderful girlfriend!). And just because of this, don't end up disbelieving in love. Just know this: love is worth fighting for, but you can't be the only one fighting. At times, they need to fight for you. If they don't, you have to realize what you gave them was waaaaay more than they were willing to give you, and that alone is a commandable feat. Don't settle for anything less than you deserve. :)

And ... everyday that you don't speak to him is another day you don't need him, and as you slowly stop missing him, you WILL realize that he wasn't that important anyway! ;)

Think about it this way. This person that you 'love' is the reason behind all your pain. Things aren't the same anymore. You constantly see yourself striving to maintain a perfect relationship (which is already screwed, btw). You no longer trust him because his words continously contradict his actions. You feel this unbearable pain everywhere, pulsing through your body, but you keep on saying, "Screw it, the pain is worth it all because in the end, I'm still with him." So you try your best to trust him, but for some reasons, you can't. Whenever he's out (without you), you have millions of ideas clustered in the back of your mind. You worry too much, you're paranoid about what he's doing, who's he going out with. You are wary of his girl-friends, and jealous whenever he mentions them.

You're not in love with him.

You're just infatuated with love. So infatuated, you've isolated yourself from everyone and everything you love to hold on to this love, which isn't working out. Ask yourself: is it really worth all the trouble and sacrifice, all for just this one guy who really don't deserve it at all, not even one teeny weeny bit?

I hope you've learnt, I seriously hope you do. And now, before you find love again, find yourself. I'm not going to help you the next time. You've been hurt once, it's his fault. You've been hurt twice? It's your fault. Don't go back to him alright. Don't sway to his words. He's a cheating liar, a scumbag. You deserve better.

Butterf(lie)s

Sorry for the lack of posts. :B I'm too lazy. I have like, a gazillion pictures to transfer from my cammy to my commy (hahaha) but ... too lazy. How. HAHAHA.

ANYWAY.

I am very happy to declare that I am .... 158cm now!!!! ^^ I know its not very tall but I grew 3 freaking cm in a matter of months. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

My parents have been forcing me to go to the gym nowadays. So sads. :( I've been working out hardcore and my legs are killing me. Oh well.

I've plenty to blog about actually. I've thousands of things (AND PEOPLE) pissing me off and stuffs that have been bothering me lately, but you know what? Screw it and them all. I'm going to die soon (I've been diagnosed with brain cancer, no biggie) so I'm just going to live my life happily till the cancer gets really bad and kills me off. Heh.

I met my old tutor (Mr Chok from KRTC) just now when I was coming back from the gym and we talked and guess what his nickname is for me. Of all nicknames, he just had to coin Ray Ray for me. -___- It's a long story (NOT). I'm just lazy heh.

Aaaaaah I want to read my QC. ;) Kbye.

Wild Child

Before Huishan (that lucky pig) went to Japan (SUPER LUCKY PIG) for her band thingy (DIE!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111), met her with Joanne to watch Wild Child.

Went in to the theatre, we were the only ones there, HAHAHA. We were screaming inside, and taking flash photography. :B






Tell you guys something stupid that happened to me - I was climbing over the seat so I could take place my cammy on the top of the seat to take self-timer pictures, my first attempt was successful (quote Huishan: "She's a monkey!") but then on my second attempt I freaking fell !@)$@&*%&*@

Thank goodness that there was the only two of them there.

Went to Haagen Daaz after the mooooooooovie.








Went back home around 5pm.

Bye :)

I'm a lazy blogger

Shall post about the class chalet, first day, night time. Hahahaha was watching the guys + Jasnyn playing Forfeit. Pictures + videos [2].

Wait, one random picture:



My mom and I hehe. I want double eyelids.

Back to class chalet.




Posing for FHM, hahahaha. :x



Look at Nicholas's face, hahaha :x



Awwwwwww.





HHAHAHA, WTF.



My turban is dirty ~




Then they started, um, fighting.





Mass orgy -_-





LOL @ that person with his legs in midair.

Like I said, midnight walk with Anthony + Axel. Axel got tired, so ...



:)

That's all the pictures I have, I am a good blogger, HAHA, bye.

Sorry

I can't take this any longer, there's no more time for lies. I don't want you to lie to me, lie to yourself, anymore. If you can't love me anymore, then please give up on me instead of trying to hold on. Perseverance is good, but persevering at a hopeless situation is, well, hopeless. Don't do this to yourself anymore. I can't stand your tears. I know you cry, I know you've been crying, and I can't bear the thought of it. I don't want to be the reason behind your sadness, never wanted to be. It has been close to two years now, isn't it enough time for you to move on with your life? Why do you still linger on? It's useless, I'm sorry. I just don't, can't, won't love you anymore. And I know you're feeling the same, but you just keep denying it and say that it's such a waste. You know what's such a waste? You clinging on. You're wonderful, you're amazing, but you're just not for me. I'm just not for you. I've let go of you, you should do the same.

I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too.

I hate this part right here

I WANT LONG HAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (and eyelashes, haha :x)

Damn Malays and their big eyes.

Gorilla coming at you HAHAHA.



Najeera: NO, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONGLY!!! LEMME SHOW YOU. :D




*cues Titanic's song*

Damn my fat legs :@ :@ :@

This picture is just so wronggggggggg

Omg I'm damn lazy to upload photos. :( Shall do it at night.