It feels like so long ago, since the last time we have just sat and had a good, simple, friendly conversation. That's what I miss - I miss your friendship. I miss being able to depend on you for support, I miss your advice; I miss your shoulder to cry on every time life let me down. Now I rely on myself. I'm stronger now, yet I am still so weak. I am happy, free, independent; yet I am still so sad, vulnerable and uneasy.

Last day of school + Carolyn's birthday today (heh you're halfway to 30)!
Took our yearbook and report book; dismissed at 10am. Went to Cold Storage with Jen to buy whipped cream + rainbow sprinkles and we quickly decorated the vanilla cake we baked for Carolyn and rushed to her house and we reached at like 12.30 if I am not wrong.

Upon reaching there, realized that more people were invited - Wenqi, Simin, Priscilla, Rongchang, Wenkai and Xiangyew. Initially it was quite awkward but settled down after a while. :)

Heh and Carolyn's mom had fake hair extensions and Jen tried them out...

GORGEOUS!

Carolyn ordered pizzas for everyone, and it arrived at around 1pm and we ate...



Jingting looks so different with her hair down! I was totally not used to it. Actually I am still not used to it. :x







After eating, talked for a while. Then Jolene left to meet her friend, and I retreated to Carolyn's room with Jen and Juexin. Priscilla left shortly after.


Carolyn, Wenkai and Jingting making waterbombs. -_- The second round (they played once before Jen, JX, Jolene and I came). I didn't want to get wet so I went back to Carolyn's room and could hear them screaming and shouting while I was in the room. Heh.









SLACKERS.

Got bored, so I went out to see how the three small kids were doing outside and...



They were all drenched, and the whole area outside Carolyn's house was totally flooded.


Jen playing a song for JX.

Then I noticed SCOOTERS outside so I started playing 8)




(My ass looks huge but it's because I'm tilting to one side!!!)

Went back inside to rest, and flipped through this Pokemon guide book. And there is a list of all the Pokemons, and when we saw this one, we all said in unison, "JENNIFER!!!"

Why? Because the mouth just as big as hers. And also just as loud. :D

And then Jolene came back after meeting her friend, so we begun the cake-cutting ceremony (so formal)!!!

The cake. IT'S SO COLOURFUL, I like. :>


Carolyn looking quite murderous.






After eating, Jen and JT had to leave, so we took GROUP PHOTOS


Carolyn's mom is above me!





Wahlau my face.... -_-




AND I PRESENT THE BEST PICTURE OF THE DAY....

Jennifer trying to execute a sexy pose (albeit a failed one)!! HAHAHA.

Then they all left.
So left Juexin, Jolene and me. We left at 6pm. And tadah here I am blogging :)
Videos up tomorrow!

(PS: All the pictures will be up on FB tmr. It is screwing up on me today... T_T)

Waiting for pictures to be uploaded.... so meanwhile I shall rant.

First of all, I was polite enough to say goodbye to you when you left the house, so don't tell me to "shut up" when I was singing The Beatles - I want to hold your hand and tell me that I am "very noisy" with such an angry face. It is a fucking birthday party; you expect me to shut up and keep to myself? A birthday party is supposed to be happy and fun and full of singing and laughing and jokes, not a morose event.

Actually, you do have the right to be pissed off because I admit that we were rather rude to you. However, I did not show you an attitude of any kind. Instead, I was welcoming and I made small talk with you. I admit that my singing sucks, but it's not like yours is fucking perfect. So please, don't be rude to me without reason.

Secondly, I am disappointed that I didn't maintain my standard and dropped from the first in class to the fourth in class. I jokingly said to the top 3 that I didn't like them. Of course I didn't mean it - I was smiling when saying it, how the fuck can it be serious? I'm not jealous, just very disappointed with myself. Anyway, congratulations to Zhigao for being first, Peirong for being second and Insyirah for being third. They worked hard and they are deserving of their positions.

Thirdly, I am a very opinionated person. I am not afraid to express my opinions and thoughts on/about things, and if I am not happy with you, I will voice it out. Is there something wrong with being fucking honest? You people claim that you hate liars, but when I speak the fucking truth, you guys hate me for it. What the fuck is wrong with you? Make up your fucking mind - do you want sweetened lies or the harsh truth?

(On a sidenote, I really like what Jennifer posted in her Tumblr.

"It’s really sad how people are forced to be silent because of fear. We fear the bullies, we fear the retorts, we fear the hatred, we fear everything but we don’t fear silence. Silence is much scarier than that.

Speak up. We have voices."

Exactly. I absolutely refuse to be silenced by fear.)

And lastly, I am a dramatic person and I tend to talk too loud and exaggerate too much. That's how I am, so please don't tell me to change. I keep quiet in class, but during recess, I'm with friends and I'll shout - I'm just having fun so can you just let me have my fun? What, you've never laughed out a little too loud when you're with your friends? If yes, then your life must be pretty sad.

Let me repeat once again:

I am a lovely person. I just choose not to share it with you. :)

:D:D:D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAROLYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



(PS: Pardon our off-tune singing. Laughing like mad.)
(PSS: Pardon my ugly face too, I was sweating like a pig.)

Pictures!!

Tumblr Unbirthday Party:









Science Centre Trip:



Mrs Walcott waving at the background! Haha.






You like our mustaches?


Carolyn drawing on Nam's wrists...


TADAH she now has robotic wrists. HAHA.






Shiok :)



How I will look like when I'm an adult...


and as an old ahma! HAHAHAHA. Why so tanned?!

Alicia's house:






And today, at my house:






The bracelet I "made" for Juexin :P:P:P



I'm done!! :D

Science Centre Trip

Went to Science Centre today to see the Body World's exhibition. I was really scared and Carolyn was very nonchalant and Namirah was very happy because, in her own words, "I'm a sadist, so I like these type of stuffs. Hehehehe." (Wtf I'm very sure she's a serial killer in disguise!) Anyway, it's a exhibition of all these dead people, who are preserved and have their skin removed, so we can see them literally in the flesh.

It was very scary but it was quite cool too. I like the giraffe the best! :D Pictures from Science Centre up some other day.

Ok then we went back to school; went to Alicia's house to make sandwiches for the class for tmr's picnic at ECP. :) Jen, Juexin and Jolene came too! Then after realizing her webcam has the distortion functions, I went crazy and...

(Pictures not in order because Photobucket messed the order up :o)







































HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Then I started taking videos!!! Damn funny but I dare not upload leh. HAHA. But srsly damn fucking funny :x

Jolene is damn mean. I arrived at Alicia's house first; they'll come later. Then I called Juexin to ask when will they come, and they told me Jennifer fainted! And I believed them because I trusted them so much. I was so scared that I called Jennifer on her hp to see if she or her mom will pick up then I can ask if she is alright then fucking hell they turned up at Alicia's doorsteps later, with Jennifer there.

THEY TRICKED ME LOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So mean. :'( And Jolene came up with the idea. HMPH I DON'T LIKE JOLENE ANYMORE.... don't friend you liaozxszxs. :p

Kbai!! :D

Why is it that when we hear bad stuff, we are quick to believe it but when we hear loving, good things, we are quick to dismiss or doubt it? When did we get so jaded? When did we stop believing in the good?

Excuse me while I kiss the sky,

I love Imogen Heap's cover of Michael Jackson's Thriller!



-



I don't know about you girl, but you're fucking pissing everyone off. Why are you blaming everyone for your problems, when the source of the problem was you in the first place? Are you that fucking oblivious to your flaws and your mistakes? Are you fucking aware of how much damage you have done? Seriously, here you are, fucking people's lives up while you're frolicking around and not bearing any goddamn fucking consequences! -_-

Get a fucking grip on yourself, woman. You think you're so fucking hapless when you were NEVER the fucking victim. Are you that fucking deluded?

Ok end of rant. 8)




Alicia with my new bag which I love because it's so cute. The brand is Angry Little Girls! So cute, right?! I KNOW!!! :D

Went out with Huishan aft sch. It was an impromptu meeting! We ate at Frolick then we went to CS's foodcourt to eat Korean food then we went to watch My Sister's Keeper. I hate the ending, it's so different from the book!!!!!!!!!!!11 :( But I cried a lot of times and HS was very annoyed with me heh.

THEN HALFWAY THROUGH THE MOVIE MY TUTOR CALLED ME I HUNG UP AND THEN HE SMSED ME WHERE AM I THEN I WAS LIKE WATCHING MOVIE AND THEN HE SAID HUH DON'T WE HAVE LESSONS TODAY THEN I WAS LIKE TODAY IS MONDAY WHAT NO TUITION THEN HE WAS LIKE NO TODAY IS TUESDAY THEN I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD REALLY OH MY GOD IT IS OH SHIT I AM SO SORRY AND HUISHAN LAUGHED AT ME BECAUSE SHE HATES ME!!!!

:(

Kbai.

(So anti-climax. On purpose one. Hehe.)

It’s amazing how you complain about other people’s faults, not knowing that you’re exactly just like them.

We are all full of weakness and errors. Stop picking on mine, when you should be concentrating on yours. I know that I am imperfect, but so are you, so you really don't have the right to comment. And if you're so unhappy with how I am and who I am, and you're so unable to accept me, then that just shows how good a friend you are.

If you look closely at a tree you'll notice its knots and dead branches, just like our bodies. What we learn is that beauty and imperfection go together wonderfully.
- Matthew Fox

Hehehehehhe. :) Look at the words in the red box. :D

So far, I've been coping well with studies. Am dropping Chinese, so now I only have 5 subjects. So I cannot apply for JC. :/ I'm so annoyed... just because of one fucking subject, I'm denied an application to JC. It's so... URGH. Fucked up. Y'know? :/

SA2: 4 As and 1 F9 (Chinese duh). I'm not sure of how much I got for F&N. :B

Quite disappointed with my EL results... only 70. Not up to my expectations. Urgh, and I'm so annoyed when people tell me I should be happy that I passed. I mean, this is English we're talking about! Anything less than an A1, and I deserve the right to be upset about it.

I want to watch My Sister's Keeper but nobody wants to watch it with me. :( Saddening.

Oh and it was my 7th month with Junhao ystd. :)

• Class outing on Weds/Thurs
  
• PTC and Carolyn's birthday on Fri
  
• Halloween Party on Sat
• Casual Poet + Movie with HS on Sun
  

WOOHOO kbai. <3

SG Tumblr Party

Today turned out to be really fun! :)

Went back home immd aft sch so I could put the jelly I made into the containers and to dress up for the event. The theme was COLOUR, so.... wore my checkered shirt with black leggings and red MJs.

I was expected to turn up early to help out, and I was quite intimidated at first, because everyone was like 18 - 25 and I was like, 14? Anyway, Casual Poet is such a pretty place! :) I'm planning on checking it out next weekend. I might book it on my birthday, have a small gathering with my close friends. :>

Anyway, I volunteered to meet everyone at the MRT. So I walked to Chinatown MRT, carrying this big poster and it was so embarrassing!!! Haha. Shaun (the photographer of the event) was with me, so we waited for the rest of the people to turn up. After waiting for about 20 minutes, and about 20 people gathered with us, we marched back to Casual Poet! :B Jennifer and Irene came too, and Irene brought Jingheng along so yeah.

Jen wore a YELLOW jacket! I was so shocked that she had COLOURS in her wardrobe. I thought her wardrobe only consists of white and black, like all the neutral colours. QUITE AMAZED!

Once I was there, I talked to all the different people and many of them could not believe I was 14!!! HAHAHA. They were like, "Are you serious? I thought you are like, 18 or something!" Hehehe. 8)

Played some games aft that, and went back home ard 10pm. :) Had an awesome night, talking to complete strangers.... am glad that I've overcame my social anxiety. :o

Pictures up when I receive them, nights everyone :)

After school today, Jennifer, Juexin and Alicia came to help me make JELLLLLY for the Tumblr party tmr! :>




So hardworking.


Heh like SLACKER ONLY....

Ok I bet Alicia is going to smack me after she reads this post. Ok lah, I'm not so bad! Alicia did most of the work, so did Jen. :) Had to BEG her to make maggie mee for me, because I was starving. And she made omelette for me too. :)
Juexin came just so she could use my laser printer to print her certificate for Weiting. IT IS FUCKING CHIO! (Of course lah, my printer.)

Anyway, before Juexin left, I demanded for pictures because she has NEVER taken a decent photo with me before. Always act shy and run away. HAHA. Then now she feels guilty, so... 8)




Woo!
Juexin and Alicia left at 5pm, then Jen stayed. She joined Tumblr and was so fascinated by it! She was like, "OMG WOW THIS IS SO COOL!" And she repeated that about a thousand times. Then at 6pm, we left to have dinner!!! I bought fried mushrooms while she bought a bento set. Went to the Open Plaza to eat and talk, then she left for home at 7pm. :B

So fucking broke, only have $22 now. :/ Been spending a lot on clothes and gifts and food! Shall cut down on my expenses.

3 posts in a row, I am so fucking awesome. KBYE.

SA2 RESULTS!!!

Disclaimer: I recommend you to skip this post, because it's basically just me raving about my results.

Today, I was fucking apprehensive and totally fucking terrified of receiving back my papers because WHAT IF I DO BADLY? I have high expectations for myself, and I always ensure I get at least a B3 for my subjects! Except for Chinese and F&N [the theory part]. So I was like praying that my hard work will please pay off.

So the first period was CHEMISTRY. Ms Chua came in and read out everyone that got an A. And she didn't said mine out!!! I started to tear because I was so fucking upset because I'VE NEVER GOTTEN A B FOR MY CHEMISTRY BEFORE so I couldn't wait for the paper to be given back to see what I've done wrong.

AND I WAS SO FUCKING RELIEVED WHEN I REALIZED MY CHEMISTRY RESULT IS 80/100!!!!!

I swear I wanted to kill Ms Chua right there and then because she made me cry for NOTHING!!!!

So, that's done. Next period was SOCIAL STUDIES.

Miss Jelena told us that she was very proud of us, because all of us passed except for one. And then the next few words she uttered were....

"And the highest I have for SS is 43/50, Weiling."

I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Omg I got FULL MARKS FOR MY SBQ. I kept on saying OHMYGOD till Alicia and Don asked me to shut up.

Hehehehhehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehe so proud of myself :)))))

Then the next period was MATHS.
Omg I was totally freaking out because THERE ARE ONLY 9 PASSES FOR PAPER 2. What if I failed!? Then I was like please don't let me do the TYS twice for nothing!!! And omg!!!

I GOT 66/98 INITIALLY.

After going through the paper, Mr Yip added 3 more marks so it became 69/98 and when converted, it is 70/100.

I was FUCKING AMAZED. For the first fucking time in my life, I actually did WELL for my maths! I was so.fucking.AMAZED!

Then it was recess.
Then it was ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I DID REALLY BADLY. :/ Don't want to say hehehe. But yeah, sucks. Fucking disappointing :///////

Getting back more papers tomorrow, I.AM.SO.FUCKING.EXCITED!

Seoul Garden

On the 20th of October, went to Seoul Garden with (according to seating arrangement): Jolene, Irene, Alicia, Juexin, Najeera, Nora, me, Jennifer, Jingting and Carolyn. :) To celebrate the end of exams!!!! :D

We had to wait for about an hour for the A.Maths students to finish, so Carolyn and Alicia came to my house first to kill time then Jolene and Irene came to join us around 12, then we left around 12.45pm to meet the rest at Seoul Garden :)

And then from that time onwards, we feasted all the way till 6pm. :) Pictures (videos uploaded tmr, bcus Youtube is being a bitch.)




Toasting to congratulate each other on surviving exams HAHA.

Anyway, while cooking the food, the oil kept spitting up and burning our hands, so Jennifer came up with a "genius" idea to protect our hands from being scalded:





JOLENE ACT CUUUUUUUUTE


I love her shirt but she doesn't want to sell it to me and nobody else I know has it :(







IRENE ACT CUUUUUUUUTE




Oh, and I don't know WHO started it, but someone came up with the idea to make FRIED RICE, so....

It actually tasted nice! :D

And then, Irene, since she has butter fingers, dropped an egg and it landed on Jolene's legs. HAHAHAHHA.










Ok thats all!
I've uploaded the rest on FB. It's still uploading actually, but it should be up by 9pm [if it doesn't fuck up on me again] so yeah. Videos up tmrrrr!!! :)

When I first moved in to Tampines, my parents gave me my own room and made me sleep alone, for the very first time in my life. And they bought me a bed. I was terrified, because I always slept with my ahma and I slept on a mattress, because I was really fucking terrified of monsters. Monsters can't hide under mattresses, they'll be squashed. So I've always thought monsters dwell underneath beds and at night, they'll come out and attack you.

So it was my first night sleeping alone. On a bed. With an empty space on the bottom. I checked underneath my bed to make sure that there are no monsters. Always. Then I prayed for safety and to be alive the next day and sure enough, I always escaped unscathed. This continued until secondary two. Then I stopped checking for monsters under my bed.

Because I realized the monsters are inside of me, not outside.

When I was a kid, I was happy

... but I'm not a kid anymore.

-

Exams are officially over today! ♥♥♥♥

Quite happy, but the thought of Os next year are such a killjoy. Going to study during the holidays! Been hearing about how my seniors regret not studying hard enough in sec 3... so I'm going to learn from their mistake. :x Heh.

Celebrated Baitika on Monday! :) It's a Hindu festival where you celebrate your brothers... so I have to some tribute for my brothers, and in return, I get $$$. :D I earned $78 in one night, woohoo. 8)

And today, went to Seoul Garden to feast with (in seating arrangement order): Jolene, Irene, Alicia, Juexin, Najeera, Nora, me, Jennifer, Carolyn and Jingting. :D Omg just realized we forgot to take a group picture. -__- Haha nevermind. Played Truth or Dare, heheheh. :B Left around 6, I went back home first. Went to shit immediately. HAHAHAHA. :p :p :p

Transferring photos now, going to edit them before uploading to FB or blogging. :B

Oh btw just realized that in 5 more days, it will be my seventh month with Jh... it's like, wow, doesn't even feel like it. :x I mean, it feels like our first month was ystd!!! Idk it just feels very surreal HAHAHA if I even make any sense at all.

-

Stop speaking ill about others, start loving. Stop putting yourself down and start embracing the beautiful person that you are. Stop spreading hate, stop spreading lies. Instead share the joy of love. Spread peace, spread happiness. Stop this world from turning to dust - start a revolution.

"I think I'll be a clown when I get grown," said Dill. "Yes, sir, a clown... There ain't one thing in this world I can do about folks except laugh, so I'm gonna join the circus and laugh my head off." "You got it backwards, Dill," said Jem. "Clowns are sad, it's folks that laugh at them." "Well, I'm gonna be a new kind of clown. I'm gonna stand in the middle of the ring and laugh at the folks."

- To Kill a Mockingbird

Deepavali

Celebrated Deepavali by playing with sparklers with my cousins. HAHA. We were all wearing the traditional costumes before this, then we changed to home clothes... so we can run around and disturb the whole neighbourhood. :D




DO YOU GUYS LIKE MY (REAL) DIAMOND NECKLACE? :))))))))))))))

(Ok lah not real diamonds.)










My dad brought out this sparkler that resembles a flamethrower when lit. I was damn fascinated bcus there was REAL fire in it haha. :x





I think I look damn ugly but DAMN HAPPY AS WELL so....... :D










^ FAVOURITE.

Ok bye :)

And that’s the reason for most suicides. Someone is torturing you. You want to kill them, but you can’t. All that pain is because you love them, and you can’t kill them because you love them. So you kill yourself instead.

Ain't love grand? It's amazing the things you realize when you lose someone. You get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could have said a million times. You take for granted the days you spent doing nothing when you could have been with them. Anyone can be taken, at any point in our lives, but we always wait until they're gone to say the things we never had the courage to say.

So everyone should just gather all their courage and tell someone what they've always wanted to say to them, before it is all too late.

Freaky

Ever since the exams started, I've been having fucking weird dreams!!! :/ I dreamed that I am someone else and that I am living their life... it's hard to explain; it's like I dreamed that I was Jennifer and I was in some store browsing through clothes, then the scene blacks out and suddenly I'm Carolyn! I was in some foreign country with her mom and dad and brother and her brother was like, "Ma mi, wo men qu na li?" (Mom, where are we going) and then the scene blacks out again and I become some other person!!!

LIKE WTF???

And I fell asleep during Physics exam today, and I became this guy from our sch [don't know his name] and I was in the Singapore Flyer with two other guys from our sch. Then this lady came over and said, "Singapore's landscape is very beautiful!" in Chinese and the scene blacked out then I woke up. :l

Idk is it like normal??? I even dream of myself... it's like reliving the past because I'm with Huishan and Joanne at Pasir Ris Park and we were eating donuts in the cold wind and that was during Huishan's bday! Then suddenly I'm in Woodlands Pri Sch, and I fell down while walking back to class and that's where the scar on my knee came from. :l Then I was at my house in Woodlands watching Bananas in Pyjamas with my ahma sleeping next to me. Then I was in East View Sec and I was in 104 and I was arguing with Axel.

I also dreamed of being many other people. Srsly it's kind of... weird? Right? :/ I even dreamed that I was Zhenghou and I was trying out some trick on my bike with some of my guy friends -___- I was Irene and sketching masks. I was Alicia and crying at home. I was Juexin and studying at home. I was Nora and I was playing with my cats. I was Emily and in the hospital with my mom flipping through magazines next to me. :/

It is very freaky I THINK IT MEANS I'M GOING TO DIE SOON :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(((((((

500 Days of Summer

McKenzie: [drunk] So do you have a boyfriend?
Summer: No.
McKenzie: Why not?
Summer: Because I don’t want one.
McKenzie: Come on; I don’t believe that.
Summer: You don’t believe that a woman could enjoy being free and independent?
McKenzie: Are you a lesbian?
Summer: [laughing] No I’m not a lesbian. I just, don’t feel comfortable being anyone’s girlfriend. I don’t actually feel comfortable being anyone’s anything.
McKenzie: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Summer: Really?
McKenzie: Nope.
Summer: Ok, let me break it down for you–
McKenzie: Break it down!
Summer: Ok. I, like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later.
McKenzie: You’re a dude. [to Tom] She’s a dude!
Tom: Ok but wait–wait. What happens, if you fall in love?

[she scoffs]

Tom: What?
Summer: You don’t believe that, do you?
Tom: It’s love, it’s not Santa Claus.

-

SO.WATCHING.THIS.MOVIE.ON.FRIDAY! I don't care if I go alone! THIS MOVIE = AMAZING.
I also cannot wait for The Sister's Keeper to come out :):):) October 22nd!!! WOO. :D:D:D Finally, some good movies coming out woohoo pls don't disappoint me like how HP was a disappointment!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Btw I am going to do very badly for SA2 but urgh nevermind I WILL GET STRAIGHT As NEXT YEAR. JUST WAIT AND SEE. :D

I don't like it when girls expect their boyfriends to be fucking perfect and whine on their blogs about how unchivalrous he is. "He never does this for me, he never does that for me." If you want to be treated like a fucking queen, then treat your man like a fucking king. That's the rule of thumb. Only kings belong to queens, so if you treat your man like a slave, don't expect him to treat you like a fucking queen. If I, a girl, am able to understand that, so should you.

Vice versa too. If you want to be treated like a king, treat her like a queen. If you can't give her your best, then don't expect her to give you her best either.

I couldn't sleep yesterday. I was tired, but I couldn't fall asleep. Tossing and turning in my bed; trying to drown out my thoughts. It has never worked, so it is no surprise it didn't work yesterday. I was suffocating in my bed, the calamity of my problems engulfing me so I got up and walked to the park. I sat down at one of the bench and watched the skies changed its colour. It was pitch black and I was afraid at first, but it was a nice distraction from my problems. The night was so still, so deafeningly silent. It almost drove me insane, but it was nice. I didn't have to think about anything or anyone. It was just me and the trees and the stars and the moon and the silence of the night, and for once it felt like my life wasn't a big mess. It was an ephemeral joy, though. Morning joggers pounded by me and I fell, fell all the way from my dreams to my reality. I have forgotten what it means to live.

Today is Sunday. Today is Sunday and I talked to my therapist. Today is Sunday and I talked to my therapist and she has doubled my dosage.

Town

Rain rain go away
Come again another day
All the world is waiting for the sun



Very lazy to blog in details! Irene and I arranged to go to Dhoby Ghaut to see if the model agency that approached us was for real and we were damn curious to see what they would say HAHA so we just went then I asked Jennifer to come along since she's better acquainted with the place and she literally became our tour guide by bringing us to places situated in town after Irene and I finished the interview. Ended up at City Hall at the end of the day and had BK for dinner :) Reached home at 9pm!





I have a feeling Huishan is going to send me this photo link and then proceed to say, "HAHAHAHA BROKEN NECK!!!!" Hmmmm :p
Anyway I don't rly like this picture bcus my arms look so... out of proportion.





From here onwards, it's all Jennifer running/dancing all the way to Substation. :P




Jennifer was really excited that she get to visit her "home" again and thus was running all the way to the Substation. No kidding. She ran and we just sauntered behind. HAHA. This was normal for me but Irene's face was like O__O WTF?



Browsed through for a while and we walked to Penisula (sp?) bcus I rmbed Alicia wanted black specs so I decided to just get it for her. Along the way...




Reached! :D They were trying on sunglasses while I was purchasing Alicia's specs. Oh I haggled and I managed to get a $2 discount hehe.








OKKKK DONE. Took MRT back to Tampines with Irene and then went our separate ways home and YAY home. :D

The NEW Big Bang Theory!

Am going to blog about outing with Jen & Irene ltr, but first of all, as Jen is hurrying me to blog about this, I shall blog abt this first.

Apparently, while at my house today, Jen was fiddling with Photoshop and she came up with a fucking sexy photo of herself. I am serious. She looks fucking SEXY. Are you ready for the photo???



...

SO. This is what she meant when she mentioned "BIG BANG!!!" on her Facebook. :) She claimed that her mouth is Big Bang. Her mouth is the reason of our existence! And she blabbered on and on her usual nonsense.

Ah well.

Sigh

I rly want to be able to blog about whatever I want, but I can't. All I can say is, I am feeling sad. You're always not there when I need you the most. It's not enough to say you'll be there, you have to stick to your word and be there. You can't just fill people with all these empty promises, you're only ruining it for yourself. Can't you see that it's absolutely killing me? You're hurting me with your hollow words. Since when did you start lying like this? Why can't you just mean what you say, why don't you just say what you mean and forget about sugar-coating everything. I am tired. I am going to bed, and I shall try not to cry.

(Post not referring to Junhao.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I screwed up :/ For the EL exam. But oh well, what's done is done! Not going to agonize over it. :) I've done my best and my EL is still awesome anyway (HAHA).

Went to KFC to have lunch with Jen and she came over to my house before leaving for tuition. I have maths remedial tmr, then maths tuition on Sunday. For the first time in my life, I'm working very hard for good grades and it sucks so bad :/ Grades do not determine one's intelligence, no? :/ Furthermore, I am, by nature, a lackadaisical person. Working so hard is such a big turn-off. -_-

Oh did I mention that instead of taking the exams in our respective classrooms, we have to take it in the hall?! So it's the whole level taking the exams together. It is so cool, it's like we're taking our Os. HAHA.

Off to study now heh byeeeeeeeee!

Love,

I won’t compose prose every morning you open your eyes next to me (I won’t compare you to a summer’s day).
I won’t kiss the tears from your cheeks whenever you cry.
I won’t remember every appointment.
I won’t keep the sheen on my armour.
I won’t know what to say sometimes.
I won’t get your order right.
I’ll be late.
I’ll fuck-up.

But I’ll write something for you when you least expect it (in summer or winter).
But I’ll hold you as tight as I can whenever I can.
But I’ll burst through the door as soon as I remember.
But I’ll polish it until it shines again.
But I’ll say something anyway.
But I’ll go back and make it right.
But I’ll get there.
But I’ll try not to.

8)

TOMORROW IS MY ENGLISH PAPER.
I am very excited. Can you tell? :D

I agree with what Carolyn said... why do everyone count down the days till exams but rarely do anyone count down the days till holidays?! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE FUCKING HOLIDAYS! I will be flying to Taipei for a major shopping spree and then to Cambodia. 8)

Ahem.

I have a few pictures to upload but they're all in my camera and I cannot be fucked to transfer the pictures. I am lazy, can you tell? HAHA. So for now I shall flood you with pictures of my face heheheehehehe.



Chio not? :)

I have a pile of clothes lying on the rack. :/ Should be clearing them but my wardrobe has no more space and I have no more hangers. HAHA. Yet I'm still buying clothes like there's no tomorrow. -__-

Woo. Shall end off with a colourful picture of me (again).



Baibai chibais!

Never fails to make me cry. :(

Et tu, Brute?

I'm so fucking pissed off. :@

My dear friend, please do your job as a friend. It's very annoying how you tell me not to do this or that because it annoys you, but when I tell you not to do something, you fucking flare up at me and tell me to be less possessive. You're the fucking possessive one. Just because there are rumours about me doesn't mean the rumours are real. Yeah, maybe the rumours are true. But maybe the rumours are also as fake as the bitch that told you.

Besides, if you're so humiliated by me, then please just fuck off. I do not need a friend like you. I want friends that are able to accept me wholeheartedly and stand by me, not wishy-washy friends who believe even the most ridiculous stories. Do you not have a fucking brain to process information?

Oh please, I've enough of you insulting me. I had enough of you telling me to change. Can you just be happy with who I am now? I'm not fucking perfection. And neither are you. Stop pointing out my flaws when you're equally as flawed. Fucking hypocritical, no? :)

You claim to have been tolerating my behaviour for very long... that you were just putting up with me. See, that just shows how nice of a friend you are. You don't trust me and you don't like me. So why are you calling yourself my friend? And you blame me for not being up to expectations when you're not exactly perfect yourself? :/

I had so much faith in you... but when people were spreading lies about me, you just stood back and let them exaggerate the situation. You didn't defend me. At all. Not once. Are you not ashamed of yourself? You dare to call yourself a friend?

You dare to call yourself my friend?

Haji Lane

For details, go to Irene's blog :):):)

Why are some people still so fucking immature? Why do you insist on bringing down a person? Does it make you feel good to see a person degenerate to tears? Does it make you feel powerful to make a girl feel inferior compared to everyone else? Seriously, stop being so immature; it's time to grow up and stop being bullies. What if it was you? Would you like it if a bunch of people insult you every goddamn day? What makes you think you're perfect yourself? What gives you the right to degrade a person? Hm?

When I was in P4, the reason why I sunk into depression was because my class and schoolmates laughed at me everyday; made fun of me and called me names. They isolated me from everyone else and made sure I ate recess alone. I remembered once I sat next to a girl in the canteen and she immediately screamed at me, "WHY ARE YOU SEATING NEXT TO ME?! I HATE YOU!" And everybody swiveled their heads to look at me. I was so fucking humiliated and I cried for days. I believed myself to be inferior. Ugly. Unwanted.

So I committed suicide (but I survived). I don't understand - do YOU want to be a reason why a girl died? Because you incessantly insulted her everyday? You're like, indirectly, a murderer. (NOTE: No, I'm not seeking for anyone's pity.) Think about it. Your words have more impact than you think. You are the reason why a girl feels worthless, useless, unneeded and insignificant. THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD? Are you fucking SICK in the mind?

It doesn't matter if the girl ANNOYS you. So what if she annoys you? So you make it your mission to make her feel WORTHLESS? And if she has done something to offend you, then you also make it your mission to get revenge on her by making her hated by everyone? YOUR ACTIONS HAVE DIRE CONSEQUENCES. Don't be fucking retarded and think that you can go around saying whatever you want without anything happening to you. Or anything happening to that girl.

And you expect the girl to be fucking strong when you've always been shooting her down? BE REALISTIC, OKAY? It's hard to be able to defend yourself when you're not able to love yourself because you're being insulted 24/7. Do you have any fucking empathy? Or are you just that inhumane?

I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

-

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."