-

I am a lovely person.
I just chose not to share that with you.

Yeah yeah, you're sorry. I'm sorry. Everyone's sorry, but I can't do this anymore.

Raffles Museum of Biodiversity

Scandalous~





Omg as this picture was being taken, I looked up to stare at the monkey and realized IT HAD NO EYES AND IT FREAKING SCARED THE BALLS OUT OF ME URGHHHH my eyes were like O________________O!!!!

Almost screamed but I managed to restrain myself... >.>

Ok bye gtg HAHA what a random post. :o

Quote of the day

Najeera: Weiling, what is oral sex?

I'm happy :)

>________> Things are piling up on my table, I AM GOING TO CLEAR THEM ASAP.



MY NEW PHONE! :D
No shit, I am serious!! My room's house phone lah. Damn cute! :D

Anyway, we celebrated Shaan's 3rd birthday last week [yes, late post].



"Tell your friends I dropped TWOOOO teeth already! I am going to be an adult, just like you, Weiling didi!"

>.> Too cute too cute.



My eyes disappeared. :O





Shaan finally turns 3! :D
But still as mischievous. OK, even more, in fact. He has even learn how to lie >.>

***

Have to report to school by 1.30pm later to 'usher' the parents in for PTC. -___- It's 11am and I still haven't showered, tsk. :O
Ms Santha said she'll give us an uniform inspection, wtf. Somehow I have a feeling that she'll start her judgmental shit again and look incredulously at me and mutter, "You're a chairman? But you can't even set a good example!" Wtf bitch. :@ :@

Had carrot cake for breakfast, thanks Junhao for coming over to my house so early in the morning and for paying :p Ahem, someone still owe me a present. >.>

-

Amen.

PLS SUPPORT SHOPWHOR-E!!!!!!!!
I need $$$$$$$$ !!!!!

Anything but ordinary

^ the old Spongebob. :D SOOOOOO cute.

"Hey, um, I love you. Yeah, shit, I just said it. I really love you. I'm sorry for the blunt delivery, but I need to tell you that I love you because everytime I see you, I feel a surge of emotions coursing through my veins and my heart will inexplicably beat faster and my palms get sweaty and all I want to do is just cradle you in my arms. Isn't that like, love? I can't figure out the mathematics of this, but hell, I swear to God, I love you."

-

I am so sick of people judging me before knowing me.

Seriously, do you know me? Am I your friend? No, we're just school mates, we're not even acquaintances. How can you form such... such perverse judgments of me? Or are you just being pugnacious? OK, let me clarify something which I've been elucidating heavily on for the past few years:

You do not know me. You do not understand me and you NEVER will. So don't start that shit about knowing me, about knowing how I feel, because we all know it is just a blatant lie.

I mean, seriously? Do you know what it is like to be me, going through things that not everyone can see? Do you know what it's like to walk in my shoes? Please stop judging me, simply because I'm not you and also simply because judging one does not define one, but perfectly defines you as a person.

I apologize for coming off as a slut, as a flirt, as a show-off, as a drama queen, as a bimbo, whatever... but I am just doing what I do, being what and who I am. I don't see why I should degrade myself to be someone else, just because I will be more accepted if I do.

However, I will NOT apologize for how I feel. We all have different opinions and you might disagree with me, but please do not insult me for having a different opinion. Why should I apologize if my opinion offends you? That's like, asking me to apologize for being real. How illogical is that?

Also, I appreciate my friends telling me what other people who I do not know and vice versa think about me, but I do not appreciate you trying to change me. If you're that embarrassed to be my friend, then just go incommunicado with me.

I will not spend my whole life trying to live up to other people's expectations, and I will not stand for being told what to do. Fuck that. I am going to be free, I will do what I want, do what makes me happy and God be damned if anyone has anything to criticize about that. Life has no limits or boundaries: limits are just other people's expectations and boundaries are just other people's fears. I only have one life, one chance to do all that life offers me. Why should I let you people stop me?

Also, I have a brain that functions perfectly fine and tells me when the situation is really overboard and that I should stop. I'm not stupid, duh.

Oh, btw, if you find me so ugly to the point of even finding a problem with my hair, then you can just do your eyes a favour and just not look at me ever. Capiche?

Should have known

I thought that I was over it.

I am not.

You're not sorry

“Take a look at yourself in the mirror, who do you see looking back ? Is it the person you wanna be? Or is there someone else you were meant to be, the person you should have been but you fell short of? Is someone telling you can’t or you won’t? Because you can. Believe that love is out there. Believe that dreams come true everyday, because they do. Sometimes happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power, sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family and the quiet nobility of leading a good life. So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy, because you deserve to be, believe that. And believe that dreams come true everyday because they do.”
— One Tree Hill

I won't let you hurt me anymore.

Also, it really annoys me how you let a friend of only a few months destroy another friendship of a couple of years. You are seriously going to believe bullshit like that? :/ Rumours are rumours, gossips are gossips, they're not real. Do you understand that? Why are you sacrificing a more important friendship for a superficial one? Please, I beg you: open your eyes bigger and see that he will not be there for you forever. He's just sucking up to you, his words are fallacious. Trust me on that. You're going to give up years for months? Well, then I have just one word to describe you: RETARD.

Never simple, never easy

My friend? No no, not my friend.
Rather, an escaped IMH patient in disguise who managed to sneak into East View premises. :O






Found a bunch of photos at Australia :D The beach there is awesome, the sand is so soft and nice to walk in. :)

Anyway, got back my results today. :D I am first in class! MWAHAHAHHAHA. :D:D:D:D:D:D Okay, my percentage sucks, only 66.5%... but whatever. :p 4As, 1B, 1F. Chinese always drag down my overall -.-

Am seriously considering to drop to CLB. :/ I can't cope... not enough time to catch up as well. Oh well. >.> I know it is really shameful, to be a Chinese and to not be able to speak Chinese....

But I really can't do it. :(:(:(:(:(:(:(

The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when Sad tries to bite its lip and not cry and smile and go, “No, I’m happy for you”? That’s when it’s really sad.
- John Mayer

:D

Happy second month honey~ :)
Even though you made me so angry in the morning. >.> I seriously don't understand how can you be so heartless when you have mine. :p

***

Carolyn has been amazingly nice to me lately. :')
See, I know how to appreciate people and their kind gestures! :D

Actually, everyone has been amazingly nice to me lately! :D People like JOLENE, JUEXIN... you guys are all sincerely appreciated! :D:D:D I am touched~

Anyway, I have to stop acting so impetuously and stop buying something without thinking if there is a real need for it. I need to save up at least $1000 by this year. Hopefully. :O Today, I will be making all my last purchases! :D My last day of shopping. HAHAHAHA. And then I'll save like crazy, only splurging on birthday gifts and special occasions! :)

She never was and never will be

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."

***

I have a fucking headache.
Why are you so unreasonable? Why can't you understand my situation? You always ask me to stand in your shoes - why don't you stand in my shoes and understand how difficult it is to be me? Why should I try to understand you when you don't even bother to understand me? It's always about YOU, isn't it? You you you you you. So where do I stand? Am I not important as well? I've told you about my problems, you always laugh. Just laugh. You laugh, laugh, laugh. When will you ever be serious, when will you ever see my pain and how much I try to get through each day? Can't you see how much I just want to die? Why are you so oblivious, or are you pretending to be oblivious because you don't want to help me through this shithole of a life, MY life? Am I that insignificant to you?

God, I want to fucking puke.

You seem to move on easily

Together, it doesn't feel right at all

My skin is not my skin but something borrowed, and recycled. I feel like a stranger in my own skin, misplaced in my own body - a tangle of nerves and brittle bone. As my hair falls in tangled heaps on my pillow, they drift like makeshift snowflakes in the cold, dry air of my room. There is an ache in my chest, a feeling like no other, hands are gripping and gripping for something to feel. I will indulge in what is perceived as wrong until it feels right. I did not ask you to notice, I did not ask for saving. I am invisible in their eyes, only a shadow to play a game with - a game, a toy, inanimate. You will tire of me, and keep me under your bed, and when you remember me, I won’t be coming back.

Insomnia?

It is currently 4am and I'm still awake, surviving on nothing. :D

Love to me is...

having every doubt in the world and not caring, cause there's something deep down inside telling you not to. love is feeling the worst pain in the entire world from one person, yet that's the only person that can make it better. love is petty fights and knowing you're right, but for the sake of the other person, you let them think they are right instead. love is doing everything you can to make the other person happy even when it makes you feel so beat up and upset inside. love is such a simple word with so many meanings. everyone interprets it differently because they experience it differently, but the first time you know you are in love, is when someone asks you, "are you in love?" and you don't have to think twice, you just say yes. that's being in love. it's not when he's kissing you and you have butterflies in your stomach, that's nerves. it's not after the first time you make love, and it's not when someone else says it to you first and you just say it back. it's not when you miss him so much and are waiting by the phone for him to call, cause that's either obsession, distrust or simply you needing to talk to someone. it's not when you miss him constantly, and it's not when you talk about him nonstop. sometimes there's a defining moment and sometimes, you just kinda realize it. it goes so much deeper than just those small things. it's when your heart aches for him and its when you can say with confidence, yeah, i love him and i can't live without him. it's when you know, it doesn't matter how much you fight and how many horrible things he says to you and it doesn't matter how far apart you are and it doesn't matter how long you go without seeing each other. it's complete trust even when sometimes maybe there shouldn't be. it's making mistakes and being forgiven for them and knowing you messed up, but because the two of you are so understanding and so in love, it doesn't matter.

... that's love.

An end in itself

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

Didn't go to school today and slept till 2pm. :D I feel so rejuvenated and revitalized. 8) I really hate waking up so early in the morning just to report to school. I'm not a morning person, damnit. >.>

Yeah okay I overslept. HAHAHA. My dad woke me up at like, 8am and he was like, "Oh my god Weiling, how many times have you overslept?!" Started lecturing me, and now I have tons of household chores to do... like iron 3 fucking baskets of clothes -_- And clean the banisters. And vacuum the house.

Um. Like slave only. Apparently, it is my cousin's birthday tomorrow and it will be held here, so there's a need to clean the whole house. >__> And all the tasks are delegated to me, duh. "You need to become a proper housewife to secure a good husband!!" is their tenuous reasoning. :(

The sound a passing heart makes

Just to clarify, whenever I bitch about something, it's not usually directed to a girl or to anyone whom I'm close to. It's always someone who's distant from me and is usually a male. :)

To Amy:
I understand your situation, so my post is not aimed towards you. I don't mind or care if you top either, because I know that you are good. And there's no hard feelings between us at all. Basically, my post isn't aimed towards you.... you know who I'm talking about anyway, I've already elucidated the truth today! :D

Btw, people do listen to you. And we do care! And I care! :( So you stop being so self-critical. :p

-

Ok got back more results today. I did badly for English Paper 1 -.- I passed Physics!!!!! 35/60! :D I know it's just a borderline pass, but I suck at Physics, so I'm happy that I passed. :) I'll work hard and smart for this subject.... so my combined science overall will be pulled up instead of down the next time round. ;)

-

I'm starting to get really irritated. :O I don't like boastful people...... not when it comes to academic, but people who show overtly that she is being chased by several guys. I can only look askance at the person lor. I've been invariably patient with dealing with these type of people lah, who thinks that they are damn pretty and that everyone is in love with them. I mean, seriously? You're not so likable, you're not so pretty, and you're definitely not everyone's favourite. Just because one guy confessed to you does not indicate that the whole world is in love with you!

A lot of people already dislike you because you are always vaingloriously boasting about the number of guys that likes you lor. I don't even think the statistics are true, because you're not so appealing nor attractive please. I'm not jealous lah, I'm just stating my opinion that has been agreed upon by other people as well, and yes there ARE guys who agree with me that you're not attractive at all, so it's not a bias opinion. :)

Oh, and seriously, stop acting cute man. >.> I mean, if you're jokingly acting cute, it's ok, but you're always rambling in that fucking high pitched voice of yours and always indirectly seek for compliments. Do you like, need people to tell you that you're pretty/cute everyday? :/ It's just weird.

Ok, don't want to elaborate so much on this. Make me irritated only. ~___~

Tata~

What a cunt

I seriously don't understand what's your fucking problem lah. We've already decided to end things amicably, so why the fuck are you acting like such a bitch? How rude can you be to me? I could have just passed you off as invisible, I could have ignored you for the past few months, and maybe that is what you're trying to hint to me now eh, that you don't want me to be around your life anymore? Yeah, fine, if that's what you want. I'll just get rid of myself out of your life now.

Maybe it was really presumptuous on my part to ever consider myself still part of your life, and still your friend. I should have known that it was all over, to you, from the very start and I shouldn't have wasted my fucking time.

-

Damnit it's just so fucking frustrating when you tell someone that you've topped something and they just look at you increduously and go all, "Really?"
Either that or they just dramatically roll their eyes and go all, "So?" or "How is it my problem?"

It's even worse when they're your good friends!

And I know I did not do particularly well for my English this SA but that doesn't mean you can insult me what! I hate it when people go all, "HAHAHAHAHAHA ZHIZHENG IS TOP NOW YOU LOSE!" Like wtf? (Btw Z, I have nothing against you) LOSER MUCH??? So what if I'm not top?!

I MEAN YES I AM DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF AS I HOLD HIGH STANDARDS FOR MY ENGLISH LAH BUT DON'T DEMORALIZE ME CAN OR NOT?

Urghhhhhhh so annoying, bunch of imbeciles. -_-

EVERYONE AROUND ME ARE IMBECILES!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok majority are.



Teehee.

>________>

Best Venn diagram that ever exist.... okay, maybe my ugly handwriting spoils the picture, but who cares :B

Anyway, got back my results today! Some of them, that is. >___> In order:

Social Studies - 80/100
Chemistry - 88/100
E.Maths - 60/100 (nabeh my tutor is going to kill me)
Literature - 72/100 (top!!!! nicholas still sucks! *kicks him out of top spot*)
F&N - 53.5/100 for the paper, 66/100 for overall
MT - 38/100 (-___-)

Chinese is such a redundant subject. >_> We were all (we = the whole chinese population in sec 3) gathered at the SAC, and then they flashed our results on the screen. In order. Waited.... oh I am 119th in level for Chinese! And there are 121 pupils in Chinese! So basically, I'm THIRD for Chinese with a whooping score of 38... mwahahaha.

Yeah fine I'm being deluded. >.>

But I can't be as professional as Jingheng. That fucker got 1/70 for his Paper 1. HAHAHAHA. Well done indeed. :B

And then when the final bell rang, Ms Siah asked all E8 and F9 pupils to stay back. HAH. -__- That HOD started talking to me and fucking looked down on me! -.- I was like, "Yeah I'm in 306." And she was like, "306 leh, can you afford to drop Chinese?!" Her tone was so fucking CONDESCENDING!!!

I was like, "Yeah I actually had 6 As last year, just that they didn't want me to be in pure science." And she was like, "6 As? YOU? Well, obviously you have a weak point. What is it? English? Science? Maths? Yeah, see, you're bad at Maths. You need Chinese to fall back on. Unless you can get straight As?"

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

So now I have to really consider about whether I would want to risk dropping Chinese, rendering me ineligible for junior college. BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO TO JC! But it's always good to keep my options open!! WAH FUCK THIS MAN. T__________T

Heard from Ms Tan that I did not do so well for English this SA. T________T I was so depressed, really contemplated to kill myself right there and then. :O

Oh well.

LIFE SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Anyway, if Junhao ever breaks up with me, he would have to be castrated. I withhold evidence:

Weiling says (9:31 PM):
*you'll get bored of me in the next 10 years lor. and then you'll cheat on me. ]:
JunHao says (9:31 PM):
*WONT CHEAT ON YOU DE!
*You aint a book.
*I will only get bored of books
Weiling says (9:32 PM):
*you say one ah.
JunHao says (9:32 PM):
*Yeah....
JunHao says (9:33 PM):
*When i get serious, i get serious hor =O
Weiling says (9:33 PM):
*ok, repeat after me: I, Chong Jun Hao, solemnly vow to never leave Weiling and to never cheat on her and to love her 4 lyfffffffffffffffffz
*HAHA
JunHao says (9:33 PM):
* I, Chong Jun Hao, solemnly vow to never leave Weiling and to never cheat on her and to love her 4 lyfffffffffffffffffz
HAHA
*=X
Weiling says (9:33 PM):
*and you're going to pinky swear that
JunHao says (9:34 PM):
*K =)
Weiling says (9:34 PM):
*and if you break it, i will castrate you. personally. :B
JunHao says (9:34 PM):
*=3
*Hehe
*Kk

Hahahaha :x I love you hon ^^

Oath

I miss Australia, damnit.

I AM NOT GAY DAMNIT

Previous blog post was by Jennifer. Obviously! I am not gay nor am I bisexual, btw. I am completely straight. And totally not in the middle of any sexuality preference crisis. :D

And yes, I was dragged to watch Star Trek with her today. It's not so boring afterall. I like Spock :) And the hand sign. Haha.

Am very glad that examinations are finally over, yet knowing there are more major examinations looming ahead saddens me very much :*( Don't understand why must education must be such a huge part of our future. It's so irritating, have to learn new un-interesting things everyday... certainly wouldn't mind if everyday were Literature lessons though, that would be like, yay!

Things I would like to do before the end of 2009:

• BUNGEE JUMPING!!!!
• Photography courses lalala~
  
• Get a DSLR!!!!!!!!!!! Nikon D90!!!!! Or Canon EOS 60D!!!
  
• Get a polaroid!!!! OI ALBERT WHERE'S MY POLAROID DAMNIT YOU :/
  
• Learn how to use fondant properly..... sigh
  
• Learn random DIY stuffs
  
• Become pretty and tall pwease :3
  

Yeah ok anyway! Went to Cotton On before the movie and bought clothes, omg I srsly need to cut down :/ And then went back to my house after the movie and she went to go search for Chris Pine (her latest obsession) while I slept, and then we played Scrabble for a while before she left. :D

(contents deleted)

Haha I found a picture of myself when I was in early secondary 1. -_______-



I had such good skin!

& lie, lie, lie.

So exams are over and Jennifer and I went to watch Star Trek today. Jenn kinda said that it was going to rock but I doubted it. I mean, c'mon. Science Fiction? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

And Jenn also said that Chris Pine is hot but you know her. {rolls eyes}


















Never before was Jenn this right. Chris Pine is SO FUCKING GORGEOUS!

Anyway, I have to make a confession. It's like I'm living a lie for so long and the pain is so great. I've been living this lie for at least 14 years now...

I am gay. Yes I am gay. Hey come on gay women got more balls than men. Search: Ellen Degeneres.

Okay well to make it fair I'm not gay, I'm bisexual... which is why I'm dating JUNHAOHONEYDEAREST now.

I AM IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE

HE IS SO HOOOOOOOOOOOT!
Pause at 2:52!!!! Love the way he said, "Don't laugh." EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

JunHao says (2:32 PM):
HEY
Why are you commenting about other guys
=O

LOL.

Still sick, how nice

Love the part when the guy farts and after shitting, realizes there's no tissue paper. HAHAHAHA. This song sucks but the MV (only the beginning though) is funny (well, to me).

-

Hah! I shall quote this from my brother. His examples are all references to his friends anyway, but I understand... hopefully you do as well. Who knew he could be so insightful, hmmm...

"Most of our discussions were about love anyway lol. But it's so difficult to know how exactly, is one guy/girl in love with another. So, good'ol Seb had come up with this idea: The 5 badges of Love.

*Note:The presence of 1 badge is sometimes enough to prove that an individual is in love. When testing for love, we use all 5 badges for testing. Sometimes when 1 badge is missing, it's enough to show that the individual is not in love.

Badge 1: Intiative
I mean, c'mon! This one should be pretty obvious. I mean, usually when you are minding your own business and listening to your music, doing your stuff, then suddendly this random guy pops up in MSN and kept on talking to you. Asking about your well-being, and all that. Anything under the sun just to have a conversation with you. He/she would also ask you out for outings and all that.
E.g.Remember the 15 minutes long convo Allan had with CF? I posted it in my blog before. 95% of the convo was written by Allan. Clearly, he was trying to engage in conversation with CF but sadly for him, her replys were all 'Ah','Lol','Yeah','GTG,BB'. =(

Badge 2: Similarities
You see, when someone wants to attract another person, they will always find something that is common between them to connect. Like if the girl you like plays basketball, the guy will practise basketball skills and techniques 24-7, 12 months a year. Then when they go out, at least they have something in common. Imagine a couple going out with nothing in common. Their outings would most likely be in silence or every single attempted conversation would end with a 'erm...yeah' or 'nope'.
E.g.*coughs*Allan's handphone*coughs*

Badge 3: Difference in moods
Eh, this one a bit harder to explain. Put it simply, think of this person in 2 different groups of people. 1 group is with normal friends, the other is with friends+the person he/she likes. The difference in that person in both groups will be apparent after a while. He/she will be average, inconsistent happy and sad in the first group but forever happy in the 2nd group. Being around the person you love is bliss. Yeah...wait til you get married...
E.g.Everytime during tutorial Allan like outsider, just stand outside do nothing and sleep. Then that time when he was waiting for his AA lesson, dunno why so happy. I very boring meh? Maybe Yq, Dick, Henry and Maggie is boring. Or maybe because he was waiting for AA with Xl. Or maybe it's just his character.

Badge 4: Referencing
Cause the person you like would tend to be the perfect one for you. So you would always based your judgements on other people using someone you like as a guide. Like in primary school, when I see other girls, somehow I just feel Jan is better haha. Lucky I never let that slip out of my mouth when my friends were all talking about girls.
E.g.Refer to what I said lor.

Badge 5: Sacrifice
Aiya, this one also obvious lah. Don't need explain so much. Usually a person will sacrifice just to make someone he/she likes happy even though the other don't know about it.
E.g.Allan didn't want to play DOTA with us one time. Just because he wanted to talk to CF in MSN. End up, they didn't talk, he SPAMMED. Talk not equal to Spam. Allan always failed to realise it."

Not bad, my brother :) You are growing up. Heheh :D

I am amazingly God-like hehe

I've been bedridden ever since Saturday (till Monday)... was plagued with high fever, leading to cough > sore throat > flu. In that order. -____- Fever hit an all time high at 43.5 on Sunday morning, and I was dying in bed literally.... why is the body hot on the outside yet cold on the inside whenever you have a fever ah? Or is it just me ._.

Anyway, now I'm better after being in bed for about 40 hours (LOL, total wastage of time -__-)... went to school today, temperature was 38.3. ~__~ Went to the doctor, the diagnosis?

"You have all the symptoms of swine flu..."
HAHA WHAT A JOKE!

(edit @ 11.45pm)

I AM GOING TO COUGH MY FUCKING LUNGS OUT LAH NABEH CAN I STOP COUGHING PLEASEEEEEEEEEE

me wants to be pat to sleep tonight. meow. :(

(/edit

Juno

Just watched Juno online, and it is the best movie I've ever watched to date. :)

Mac MacGuff: Look, in my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.

Hi

I just had to blog this!

[looking up whats monogamy on Wiki]
Sid (cousin): You don't know what's monogamy?
Me: Yeah.
Sid: You suck.
Me: Well, at least now I know what's monogamy.
Sid: Oh. Well. Monogamy sucks anyway. Everyone should just be a whore.
*saunters off*

LOL THIS IS SO CLASSIC.
Thanks Junhao for your KFC delivery today haha :D

-