Tears in heaven

204th post :D

I like my new, kind of psychedelic layout. :D Now it's not so bleak and dull anymore :B

To sum1uneedntaskforname:

Srsly, who are you to judge my friend? -_- Though I have to agree with you on the self-opinionated part, but what's so wrong with having your own opinions? At least she is real and true to herself, and she has her own thoughts and don't follow other people blindly. :)

And you, the way you dish out your opinions seems like a prostitute soliciting for sex and begging to be enculé :)

Btw, I would like to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up your ass.

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I'm too tired to go out today. Ystd was one of the worst days ever; had to learn a new type of drill and it was difficult trying to conform myself to it. And then after about an hour of it, had the normal drills. Luckily, I was excused about 30 minutes into it because I was breaking out in rashes. Asked SJAB people for calamine lotion, but apparently, they didn't know what it was and handed me Mopiko instead. .-.

When we were finally dismissed, straightaway left for home, showered and just dropped dead on my bed and didn't wake till today. And now I'm suffering from severe backache and stomach cramps, no thanks to the monthly blood donation. :( All I want to do now is just stay at home and rest.

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I have this image of the life I want, and I'm not going to let that fade. My English teacher once said to me that it is pure magic to have a dream and to have something to strive for, something to be. To know what I want and to work for it. That's good stuff right there. A few years ago, I was this depressed, skinny chick with no aspirations and nowhere to go, but now, I'm not afraid of this person I've become, I'm proud of it. Proud of me. And I'm not going to be afraid of who I will be in 10 years, what mistakes I will make, the people who will doubt me and what I will care about. This energy, that fuels my heart, my soul, and my life, that has fueled millions before me, and what I've got in front of me, is non-comparable to anyone or anything.

And right now, I want to run headlong into the interminable chaos - the good chaos. The chaos you have with friends and family, which equates to fun and everyone laughing and there will be no need for pictures for the memory itself will be imprinted on everyone's hearts and never forgotten, there will never be a need for the memory to be refreshed. That's all that I want - the good chaos.