In my memory,

I wrote you down in ink. I never wanted to erase our story even with the tragedy it brings.
You were a chapter in my life itself, you meant so much to me. You were everything to me, but I was nothing to you.

I won't lie, I wish we will last a lifetime. Please stay, won't you stay tonight?

I felt the touch of his hand on my shoulder for a moment, and then he walked away - away, out of my life, forever. Now that you're gone, please ... don't ever think that you're not good enough. Because to someone somewhere out there, you are. Regardless of what you are, their idea of perfection was you. Don't let them down, don't let me down.

There are two types of love, and one of them is the cruelest kind. It can kill its victims, it makes one feel worthless. Its called unrequited love. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other, but what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one-sided affair, we are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space. Yes, you are looking at one such individual. I've willing loved that man, and it was the worst years of my life. The worst Christmas', the worst birthdays', New Years Eve's brought in by tears. Those years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life, all because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and NEVER will love me back.

I hope that someday, someone would be able to love me back. He would be able to hold me for more than hours, and that's all he will do. He won't pull away, he won't look at my face, he won't try to kiss me. All he will do is just wrap me up in his arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it. He will truly love me. He will be worth every tear I shed for him (or maybe won't even make me shed one). He will be worth missing over. He will be worth my love, worth me. He will not forget me, neither will he forget my face. He will not talk to me with coldness or harshness, instead he will speak words of love, of comfort, of joy. He will accept every single flaws of mine, every single quirks of mine. Most of all, he will love me for me, nothing else nothing more.

But then, men like that, they only exist in fairytales and stories.
So I have learnt, to accept the men in my lives for who they are, regardless of how they treat me. That aiming too high for something will only leave you disappointed.
I don't care about how I am treated anymore, because I know that nobody can love you that selflessly, that nobody is ever treated fairly. Now I've accepted everyone wholeheartedly, and I am trying my very best to push away thoughts of hate, of annoyance. Let people abuse me, let people torture me, let people torment me, let people lie to me, let people forget me, let people hit me, let people take advantage of me, let people hate me. I try not to bother, I try not to think too much about it but I just end up thinking too much and it just kills me.

(SIDENOTE: just something i came up with! haha, but not what i'm feeling, really)