Wednesday, April 7, 2010


I wish I was good enough for everybody.

I wish I was good enough for you.

You're not complaining, but I can see it in your eyes. The disappointment. Oh, sorry - it's not just in your eyes; the disappointment's etched in your face as well. You deserve better. But you are stuck with me.

I am sorry. I wish I could get rid of myself, too.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I shall dissect my previous previous post for you and show that the post actually have good intentions, even though I use quite a few expletives.

-

I think that people who constantly blogs about their smiles being forced and happiness being pretended are all liars and are bullshitting to get sympathy.

Of course I think that you are bullshitting. So you're faking all the time? You're never happy? Even when you laugh, it's forced? So you're like, a freaking 24/7 liar? An actor working full-time for the rest of your life?

Sorry, makes no sense to me.

And I feel especially annoyed if they’re my friend. So what? I can’t make you happy? Our time spent together was actually a lie, because your laughter was faked and smiles forced out?

And OF COURSE I WILL BE ANNOYED. We're close friends, and we've so many good times together, and then you blog about your happiness being faked, your smiles being faked, your laughter being faked, ALL THE GODDAMN TIME, and... so our time spent together, when you said you enjoyed your day with me, all that is a lie? :(

Breaks my heart.

Look, if you’re sad, then just fucking tell me you’re sad instead of pretending to be fucking happy and then blog about no one understanding you. Yes, you’re a fucking wonderful actor. So don’t blame your friends for not understanding you; it’s not our fault that you’re putting up a facade.

How am I being mean and insulting here? I'm telling you to please confide in me, so that I'd be able to better understand you... is this mean? I can't see through your "mask" or your "facade", because I trust you to be happy in my company, but you suddenly shatter my delusion by telling me you've been pretending all these time. Maybe it is my fault for not understanding you, but can you really blame me when you've been telling me that you've been happy??? I TRUST YOU. Jeez.

What, we’re supposed to see through it? How? We trust you to be happy in our company. How the fuck are we supposed to know you are dying inside? I can’t read your mind, I am sorry. Just tell me what the fuck is going on and I will do my best to help you.

I APOLOGIZED!!! I APOLOGIZED HERE. HOW.AM.I.BEING.MEAN?! :( I'm telling you that I'm willing to listen to you, to hear you out, to understand you and your situation, and that I'll be here for you. I will help you. I'm not being mean or cold-blooded or anything. I'm being nice! Loving! Sweet!

Wahlau eh just because I threw in a few fuck doesn't mean I'm scolding you right. Doesn't mean I'm trying to control you or whatsoever right. I'm CONCERNED for you. And you just... broke my heart like this. :'(

Shall cry myself to sleep now. Sob sob.

(PS: Yes, actually that post was meant for nobody. It was just a complain because ever since secondary 1, I've been viewing posts like that. For example, Albert's. That was in the past though, he's much better now hehe. But yes. This post was just a complain. Don't know why everyone went to assume assume assume. ASSUME will make an ASS out of U and ME. Hahaha!!! Ok. Not funny.)
(PSS: Yesssss the "yous" in this post is not just for one person, it's directed to MANY who've accused me of blatantly maligning them. It's not true. :'( I won't complain about a specific person on my blog one... I have guts, people, I have GUTS!!!)

Bloody hell,

if I don't specify who the hell I'm talking about in my posts, please don't go about assuming that it's you. My previous post? A general statement after bloghopping a thousand people's blogs and reading the fucking same statement again and again, "Nobody understands me, I have no true friends, nobody is there for me, why is my life so fucked up?" Like... oh shut up.

I don't find my previous post offensive in any way either.

And actually, I do have guts. If you're my friend and I'm pissed off with you, I'll tell you instead of blogging about it, okay?

(Note: See, this is what I mean when I say I can't really post what I want to post these days. People will just fucking assume. Ah fuck you lah just ask me face-to-face leh, instead of telling your friends I'm badmouthing you??? :@ Never even confirm with me then you go around talk shit. Wtf.)

Anyway. My boyfriend's damn cute. I asked him to come online to talk to me because I can't sms + I'm in no mood to talk. He replied, saying that he can't, because his phone's MSN not working. Bloody cute, because... then what's his laptop for? Laughs out loud~

Sunday, April 4, 2010

I think

that people who constantly blogs about their smiles being forced and happiness being pretended are all liars and are bullshitting to get sympathy.

And I feel especially annoyed if they’re my friend. So what? I can’t make you happy? Our time spent together was actually a lie, because your laughter was faked and smiles forced out?

Look, if you’re sad, then just fucking tell me you’re sad instead of pretending to be fucking happy and then blog about no one understanding you. Yes, you’re a fucking wonderful actor. So don’t blame your friends for not understanding you; it’s not our fault that you’re putting up a facade.

What, we’re supposed to see through it? How? We trust you to be happy in our company. How the fuck are we supposed to know you are dying inside? I can’t read your mind, I am sorry. Just tell me what the fuck is going on and I will do my best to help you.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Assembly performance

On the 25th of March, 1/3 of my Lit class performed during the school's assembly! We put up a reenactment of To Kill a Mockingbird and I was acting as Scout. I think we did magnificently, although some teachers chose to criticize us instead. :)

Group photos! I was wearing berms, but I've changed to my school skirt already. :B

Friday, April 2, 2010

Hello, hello

It has been a super long time ever since I blogged here! Like, going to be 2 months already. My last post was on the 11th of Feb, and it's the 2nd of April now.

And through this period of time, I've been so fucking happy! Delirious with joy and felicitations! Hehe. I'm blessed to have an amazing family, amazing friends, and an amazing boyfriend. It's going to be our second month tomorrow, and I'm very sure that we'll last for years because he's amazing and I'm awesome and together, we cannot fail. ;) Yes, I'm so logical.

I don't regret 2009 though. I'm glad that I was with JH, because, well, that relationship taught me what love really is.

So... update you guys with pictures! I still don't have a camera, but Mr Yip is very nice to lend me the school's DSLR for a couple of weeks :)

140310 - Shopping with Alicia + Dinner with Jingheng



She looks so adorable here!




150310 - Date with Jingheng before he leaves for Genting for 3 fucking days

My handsome boyfriend hehehehe.



Wearing his old hoodie! There's a story about this hoodie, actually. Last year, like around February 2009, I was really bored and it was midnight and I was hungry as well and we were talking and I suggested going to Mac so he fetched me at my block and we walked to 201 from my block and while walking there, a thunderstorm brewed and I was only wearing a singlet and shorts and I was absolutely freezing and he lent me this particular hoodie to wear.

That was when he fell for me, hehe. Too bad he had to wait for another year before he got me :P

190310 - Picnic with HS and Joanne
We only meet up during the holidays, so poor thing right!! We're always so caught up in school-work, sigh. :(

Blur photos because the auto-focus stopped working and I couldn't figure out how to use the manual focus until like, 5 hours later. (inserts very sian face here)




I love this photo of the two of them because they both look so happy!


200310 - Picnic with Carol, Jen & Jolene






200310: UG Gala Night Dinner
Only 2 photos because I was the photographer that night = very few photos of my pretty face!

Aravindas...

and Alan!

Yeah, that's pretty much all. There's a few more photos, but I'm getting lazy, so... the next time I update, I'll upload! Because they're from other cameras, so need to sort out and everything. :o

KBAIIIIIIIIIIIIS. ;)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Temporarily moved back to wlftw due to loss of camera.

Expect an overflow of words.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Today, after school, I went with Alicia to buy her school shoes at 201. So we took bus 8, and I walked to the overhead bridge as I always cross to 201 using the overhead bridge.

Alicia then exclaimed, "Are we walking to the zebra head crossing?"

English fail hehehehehe. :P

Sunday, February 7, 2010

It’s not a surprise that I found myself, once again, staring up at the moonlight, searching for answers - why does life have to be the way it is? Why do people do the things they do? And with a heart so big, it’s really a shame to watch it go to waste on undeserving people with their counterfeited compliments and simulated sympathy. I’m worthy of so much more than what I’m standing for. But why do I even want to live in a world full of prejudice? If I don’t push myself to extremities, how shall I ever be discovered? And how slim are the chances of discovery at all? And once faith is lost, is there no point of return? Once you get that far, I guess the only question is - do I sink or do I swim?

5 lessons about the way we treat people

1. Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

“What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50’s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

“Absolutely, ” said the professor. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello.” I’ve never forgotten that lesson... I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. Pickup in the Rain.

One night, at 11:30 P.M., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.

Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960’s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him.

Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read: “Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s’ bedside just before he passed away… God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Nat King Cole.”

3. Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

“How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked.
“Fifty cents,” replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

“Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

“Thirty-five cents,” she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins.

“I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.

You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4. The Obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the King’s’ wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5. Giving When it Counts.

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes I’ll do it if it will save her.” As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek.

Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?” Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

(via kristine-theceomermaid)

Saturday, February 6, 2010

My one true love just abandoned me.

My first and very precious and very beloved digital camera has ran away from me.

My heart is totally shattered. :( This is so upsetting urgh this is even worse than Junhao breaking up with me! I mean, the PAIN AND ANGUISH AND SUFFERING of it all. Seriously. I'm not joking. IT HURTS VERY BADLY!!!!!! :( :( :(

I don't know how I am going to survive without my precious love. I feel so empty. :(

Oh my god kill me please why am I so fucking careless urgh I want to die urgh kill me urgh fuck urghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, February 5, 2010


Waiting for the boyfriend to shower before meeting me. :B

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Things I need to make clear

  • Just because I have a boyfriend doesn't mean I don't care for my friends;
  • Likewise, it also doesn't mean you guys don't have to care for me anymore;
  • Why? Because I prioritize my friendships with you guys over my relationship because you guys are more important to me;
  • Again, that doesn't mean I don't care about Jingheng, because I do;
  • It is just that I've been close friends with you guys for so long that I'd rather lose a boyfriend than lose you guys all together;
  • So please don't accuse me of caring more about Jingheng because I care more about you guys than I do for him.
Sigh.

Semakau Island + Kusu Island excursion












I love the sunset. :)

After the trip, reached the school at 7pm+ and met Jingheng and had dinner together and he asked me out so yup! I am attached again. :B

OKKKK BAI.