I wish I was good enough for everybody.

I wish I was good enough for you.

You're not complaining, but I can see it in your eyes. The disappointment. Oh, sorry - it's not just in your eyes; the disappointment's etched in your face as well. You deserve better. But you are stuck with me.

I am sorry. I wish I could get rid of myself, too.

I shall dissect my previous previous post for you and show that the post actually have good intentions, even though I use quite a few expletives.

-

I think that people who constantly blogs about their smiles being forced and happiness being pretended are all liars and are bullshitting to get sympathy.

Of course I think that you are bullshitting. So you're faking all the time? You're never happy? Even when you laugh, it's forced? So you're like, a freaking 24/7 liar? An actor working full-time for the rest of your life?

Sorry, makes no sense to me.

And I feel especially annoyed if they’re my friend. So what? I can’t make you happy? Our time spent together was actually a lie, because your laughter was faked and smiles forced out?

And OF COURSE I WILL BE ANNOYED. We're close friends, and we've so many good times together, and then you blog about your happiness being faked, your smiles being faked, your laughter being faked, ALL THE GODDAMN TIME, and... so our time spent together, when you said you enjoyed your day with me, all that is a lie? :(

Breaks my heart.

Look, if you’re sad, then just fucking tell me you’re sad instead of pretending to be fucking happy and then blog about no one understanding you. Yes, you’re a fucking wonderful actor. So don’t blame your friends for not understanding you; it’s not our fault that you’re putting up a facade.

How am I being mean and insulting here? I'm telling you to please confide in me, so that I'd be able to better understand you... is this mean? I can't see through your "mask" or your "facade", because I trust you to be happy in my company, but you suddenly shatter my delusion by telling me you've been pretending all these time. Maybe it is my fault for not understanding you, but can you really blame me when you've been telling me that you've been happy??? I TRUST YOU. Jeez.

What, we’re supposed to see through it? How? We trust you to be happy in our company. How the fuck are we supposed to know you are dying inside? I can’t read your mind, I am sorry. Just tell me what the fuck is going on and I will do my best to help you.

I APOLOGIZED!!! I APOLOGIZED HERE. HOW.AM.I.BEING.MEAN?! :( I'm telling you that I'm willing to listen to you, to hear you out, to understand you and your situation, and that I'll be here for you. I will help you. I'm not being mean or cold-blooded or anything. I'm being nice! Loving! Sweet!

Wahlau eh just because I threw in a few fuck doesn't mean I'm scolding you right. Doesn't mean I'm trying to control you or whatsoever right. I'm CONCERNED for you. And you just... broke my heart like this. :'(

Shall cry myself to sleep now. Sob sob.

(PS: Yes, actually that post was meant for nobody. It was just a complain because ever since secondary 1, I've been viewing posts like that. For example, Albert's. That was in the past though, he's much better now hehe. But yes. This post was just a complain. Don't know why everyone went to assume assume assume. ASSUME will make an ASS out of U and ME. Hahaha!!! Ok. Not funny.)
(PSS: Yesssss the "yous" in this post is not just for one person, it's directed to MANY who've accused me of blatantly maligning them. It's not true. :'( I won't complain about a specific person on my blog one... I have guts, people, I have GUTS!!!)

Bloody hell,

if I don't specify who the hell I'm talking about in my posts, please don't go about assuming that it's you. My previous post? A general statement after bloghopping a thousand people's blogs and reading the fucking same statement again and again, "Nobody understands me, I have no true friends, nobody is there for me, why is my life so fucked up?" Like... oh shut up.

I don't find my previous post offensive in any way either.

And actually, I do have guts. If you're my friend and I'm pissed off with you, I'll tell you instead of blogging about it, okay?

(Note: See, this is what I mean when I say I can't really post what I want to post these days. People will just fucking assume. Ah fuck you lah just ask me face-to-face leh, instead of telling your friends I'm badmouthing you??? :@ Never even confirm with me then you go around talk shit. Wtf.)

Anyway. My boyfriend's damn cute. I asked him to come online to talk to me because I can't sms + I'm in no mood to talk. He replied, saying that he can't, because his phone's MSN not working. Bloody cute, because... then what's his laptop for? Laughs out loud~

I think

that people who constantly blogs about their smiles being forced and happiness being pretended are all liars and are bullshitting to get sympathy.

And I feel especially annoyed if they’re my friend. So what? I can’t make you happy? Our time spent together was actually a lie, because your laughter was faked and smiles forced out?

Look, if you’re sad, then just fucking tell me you’re sad instead of pretending to be fucking happy and then blog about no one understanding you. Yes, you’re a fucking wonderful actor. So don’t blame your friends for not understanding you; it’s not our fault that you’re putting up a facade.

What, we’re supposed to see through it? How? We trust you to be happy in our company. How the fuck are we supposed to know you are dying inside? I can’t read your mind, I am sorry. Just tell me what the fuck is going on and I will do my best to help you.

Assembly performance

On the 25th of March, 1/3 of my Lit class performed during the school's assembly! We put up a reenactment of To Kill a Mockingbird and I was acting as Scout. I think we did magnificently, although some teachers chose to criticize us instead. :)

Group photos! I was wearing berms, but I've changed to my school skirt already. :B

Hello, hello

It has been a super long time ever since I blogged here! Like, going to be 2 months already. My last post was on the 11th of Feb, and it's the 2nd of April now.

And through this period of time, I've been so fucking happy! Delirious with joy and felicitations! Hehe. I'm blessed to have an amazing family, amazing friends, and an amazing boyfriend. It's going to be our second month tomorrow, and I'm very sure that we'll last for years because he's amazing and I'm awesome and together, we cannot fail. ;) Yes, I'm so logical.

I don't regret 2009 though. I'm glad that I was with JH, because, well, that relationship taught me what love really is.

So... update you guys with pictures! I still don't have a camera, but Mr Yip is very nice to lend me the school's DSLR for a couple of weeks :)

140310 - Shopping with Alicia + Dinner with Jingheng



She looks so adorable here!




150310 - Date with Jingheng before he leaves for Genting for 3 fucking days

My handsome boyfriend hehehehe.



Wearing his old hoodie! There's a story about this hoodie, actually. Last year, like around February 2009, I was really bored and it was midnight and I was hungry as well and we were talking and I suggested going to Mac so he fetched me at my block and we walked to 201 from my block and while walking there, a thunderstorm brewed and I was only wearing a singlet and shorts and I was absolutely freezing and he lent me this particular hoodie to wear.

That was when he fell for me, hehe. Too bad he had to wait for another year before he got me :P

190310 - Picnic with HS and Joanne
We only meet up during the holidays, so poor thing right!! We're always so caught up in school-work, sigh. :(

Blur photos because the auto-focus stopped working and I couldn't figure out how to use the manual focus until like, 5 hours later. (inserts very sian face here)




I love this photo of the two of them because they both look so happy!


200310 - Picnic with Carol, Jen & Jolene






200310: UG Gala Night Dinner
Only 2 photos because I was the photographer that night = very few photos of my pretty face!

Aravindas...

and Alan!

Yeah, that's pretty much all. There's a few more photos, but I'm getting lazy, so... the next time I update, I'll upload! Because they're from other cameras, so need to sort out and everything. :o

KBAIIIIIIIIIIIIS. ;)