Outings

Met up with Joyce last Sunday! :D Went to Dhoby Ghaut > Daiso > Times > JustAcia > Flea Titan > Home. ^^ Very lazy to blog in detail. My apologies. :p Anyway, had a great time with this primary sch friend of mine! \m/




Oh yeah met her sister as well. <: And then last Friday, Huishan came over to study!! :)





Our lunch <:
All the peach tea drank by me, of course. HAHAHAHA. :p



Why am I so pretty? HAHAHA :p

I am chio

1. Waiting for tuition teacher to arrive;
   
2. Trigonometry sucks;
   
3. Oh the pimples on my face, won't you go away?

Suddenly, everyone seems to be acting like a Class A bitch.

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY,
JENNIFER(ETARDED) FOO(L) RUIFEN(OOB)
Congratulations, you are halfway to thirty!!!! :)




ALRIGHT LET'S SEE. What shall I write for you. Hmmm. :p

Ok, first, I shall start off by saying: YOU SUCK!
Why? Because right now you are quarantined and thus you need not go to school for 7 days [+1 since Mon is a public holiday]. HAHA. I know you are having fun, staying at home and missing me :)

Anyway, I am very glad to have been through 2 and a half year of your life. ^^ You are the funniest friend I have; the only person I've ever met who can laugh for the whole day, hell, you can even laugh for the rest of your life. Probably the happiest person I've ever met. Ok you do have your emotional moments, but come on, how common is that? :p Besides, with me as your friend, you'll cheer up easily, right? :D:D:D:D:D

Though we have petty fights, I am glad that we are still friends :O
And don't worry, Junhao is still not as important as you. >:) Am being serious! Girls over boys ANYTIME. :)

Happy birthday to you, KENNIFER/BENNIFER/BEN 10!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our love is like a song, but you just won't sing along

"It seems everywhere I go there is drama. People are like lice - they get under your skin and bury themselves there. You scratch and scratch till the blood comes, but you can’t get permanently deloused. Everywhere I go people are making a mess of their lives. Everyone has his private tragedy. It’s in the blood now - misfortune, ennui, grief, suicide. The atmosphere is saturated with disaster, frustration, futility. Scratch and scratch until there’s no skin left. However, the effect upon me is exhilarating. Instead of being discouraged or depressed, I enjoy it. I am crying for more and more disasters, for bigger calamities, for grander failures. I want the whole world to be out of whack, I want everyone to scratch himself to death."
— Henry Miller



"It is not more crazy than a dog finding a rainbow. Dogs are colour-blind. They don’t see colour. Just like how we don’t see time. We can feel it, we can feel it passing, but we just can’t see it. It’s just like a blur. It’s like we’re riding in a supersonic train and the world is just blowing by, but imagine if we could stop that train? Imagine if we could stop that train, get out, look around, and see time for what it really is? A universe, a world, a thing as unimaginable as colour to a dog, and as real, as tangible as that chair you’re sitting in. now if we could see it like that, really look at it, then maybe we could see the flaws as well as the form. And that’s it; it’s that simple. That’s all I discovered. I’m just… a guy who saw a crack in a chair that no one else could see. I’m that dog who saw a rainbow, only none of the other dogs believed me."
- Kate and Leopold



The heartbeat. Have you ever lain with somebody when your hearts were beating in the same rhythm? That’s true love. A man and a woman who lie down with their hearts beating together are truly lucky. Then you’ve truly been in love, m’ boy. Yeah, that’s true love. You might see that person once a month, once a year, maybe once a lifetime, but you have the guarantee your lives are going to be in rhythm. That’s all you need.
— Bob Dylan



Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.
- Plato



"Just one thing,” she says, raising her head and looking me straight in the eye. “I want you to remember me. If you remember me, then I don’t care if everyone else forgets."
— Kafka on the Shore, Haruki Murakami



"You know I was taught that when you have something good, what you’re supposed to do is you hang on to it. You know? You hang on to it with both hands. And if someone tries to take it from you. what you should do is you should make sure they pry it from your cold, dead fingers."
— Seth Cohen



"No. Take the heart first. Then you don’t feel the cold so much. The pain so much. With the heart gone, there’s no reason to stay your hand. Your eyes can look on death and not tremble. It’s the heart that betrays us, makes us weap, makes us bury our friends when we should be marching ahead. It’s the heart that sickens us at night and makes us hate who we are. It’s the heart that sings songs and brings memories of warm days and makes us waver at another mile, another smouldering village."
— The Passion, Jeanette Winterson



"I never thought I had depression, because I’d look at those depression surveys that would ask, ‘Have you stopped enjoying things you used to enjoy?’ And I never understood those because…I couldn’t remember ever enjoying anything."
— Out of the Shadows



"I will be thin and pure like a glass cup. Empty. Pure as light. Music. I move my hands over my body - my shoulders, my collarbone, my rib cage, my hip bones like part of an animal skull, my small thighs. In the mirror my face is pale and my eyes look bruised. My hair is pale and thin and the light comes through. I could be a lot younger than seventeen. I could be a child still, untouched."
— The Hanged Man, Francesca Lia Block

Just so you know,

There are words dancing at the back of my tongue, words that want to be said. But I would rather chew on razorblades than say the words that I want to say. I tried to vomit the words out, but my heart tightens and so does my throat, and the words are swallowed back. I am sorry that your beliefs clashes with my beliefs. I am trying so hard, oh so very hard. But I am failing; flailing. I am sorry.

***

People are so fucking immature nowadays. Why would you want to ostracize someone just because they're in love with someone who's attached? She won't be able to tear them apart if their love is strong enough, so why bother going to such drastic lengths? Granted, I might not know the full story so these are just superficial assumptions, but seriously?

LAUGHS @ HUISHAN WHO HAS EXAMS MWAHAHAH

I love HUI SHAN VERY MUCH she's such a poor sad kid who has exams (not).

You know she went to Daiso on Monday and then she bought the caramel corn thingy, and on the packaging, there was a symbol of a camera. And she thought that it meant that there will be biscuits in the shape of a camera.

HUISHAN: *holds up a biscuit* Does this look like a camera to you?
PEIRU (her sis): NO!!!!!!

And they spent the next 1 hour shifting through every single biscuit and looking for a camera-shaped biscuit.

HUISHAN: I think the camera actually meant we should take a picture of the packaging.
PEIRU: Huh I don't know laaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!1

Genius! :D Pure genius. TOTAL GENIUS BETTER-THAN-ALBERT-EINSTEIN-GENIUS.

** I was reading the article about Michael Jackson's death **
HUISHAN: How old is he?
ME: 50.
HUISHAN: Eh quite young leh! Must be all the plastic.

***

BEFORE VIEWING THE VIDEO, PLEASE INCREASE YOUR VOLUME TO THE MAXIMUM!!!!!!!!!!



GUESS WHO WINK WINK :D

:(

This is so depressing.

***

BUTTERF(LIES) says (10:58 PM):
*why ahlians keep on saying "ni mama"
*ni mama very vulgar meh?
*your mother your mother
*whats so vulgar abt it
solar bear says (10:58 PM):
*...
*CUZ IT'S THE CHI VERSION OF YO MAMA
BUTTERF(LIES) says (10:58 PM):
*WHY THEY GO AHLIANIZE "YOUR MOTHER"
*HAHAHHA
solar bear says (10:58 PM):
*HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA
BUTTERF(LIES) says (10:58 PM):
*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHA
solar bear says (10:58 PM):
*HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
BUTTERF(LIES) says (10:58 PM):
*OMG
*NONSENSE
*HAHAHAHAHAHA
*YO MAMA
*NI MAMA

Hai

Been staying at home the past few days & studying. Like, seriously studying. :p
Besides, was just discharged, I'm supposed to stay at home & rest. Tmr is my 3rd month, Friday I'm going to Pulau Ubin, Saturday I'm going to 85 and need to be home early cus my relatives from Australia are here to visit. Can't wait, cus they always bring back loads of gum for me, teehee \m/

Anyway I've been thinking a lot (since most of the time I am alone by myself - I actually am getting used to it! By it, I mean staying at home and being by myself) & reading a lot & writing a lot. I actually wrote about 5 long posts but I've never published them cus I know no one would be interested enough to actually read all of it & also cus I know that, well, people would criticize. :/ I've purposely mentioned this to my friends and they are like, "You are so free!" & they've never asked to read it. Ok it is illogical to get upset over it but I am, cus it's like, well, if you care enough about me, you would care enough to read, or at the very least, skim through my essays...

Ok nevermind.

Been buying loads of items, I have my new wallet ($16), new bag ($24), new shoes ($33) and tons of new clothes. Ok they're not literally new, but they're all BNWT or never worn, so yeah. That reminds me - need to alter this pair of jeans which are too big for me. Except that I am bankrupt now. -.- -.- -.- My mom was like, "New wallet but no money to put inside. Shame!"

On a random note, I want a tattoo:



Nothing much to blog about, except for this particular reply Ms Nah sent me:

Date: Tue, 23 Jun 2009 23:19:34 +0800
Subject: Re: Regarding story-writing competition
From: ***@gmail.com
To: ***@hotmail.com

Ok, no worries.

but anyway, i've signed you up for debate for National Literature Festival. you're not going to back out on this. I need your calibre for the team.

....... wish me luck.

(PS: You know it's time to stop drinking peach tea when you've been to the toilet 4 times in a timespan of 10 minutes.)

Question

In the early 3rd century BCE, the Greek philosopher Epicurus wrote:

Either God wants to abolish evil and cannot,
or he can but does not want to,
or he cannot and does not want to,
or lastly he can and wants to.

If he wants to remove evil, and cannot,
he is not omnipotent;
If he can, but does not want to,
he is not benevolent;
If he neither can nor wants to,
he is neither omnipotent nor benevolent;
But if God can abolish evil and wants to,
how does evil exist?

Anyone out there that will bother to answer me? :)

Back

Ok not 5 days as expected (but I still won't be online for 5 days). I was released early (ok you can guess where I was gone now)! :D

I am sorry to the people I've disappointed, esp my family. :/ I am sorry I don't know what I was thinking, it's just that I was overwhelmed at the moment of time and it just sort of happened and I couldn't be more sorry for that, + it was Father's Day the next day + it was also your 6th anniversary married tgth. I am sorry for spoiling everything & I am sorry for being such a disappointment for a daughter.

Anyway, I am back & I rly miss NORMAL food... am craving for black pepper crabs so badly! & butter prawns & satays & pratas. But now they issued me this stupid diet thing which my parents are taking so srsly, it is so sad cus it is all veg and healthy. I am also not allowed to drink cold drinks [unless they're herbal or good for me]. This sucks!!! I am also not allowed to go out but I'd rather die than stay here & rot & be so close to my family whom I've disappointed so badly so I put up a fight which actually worsened things but I guess it was for everyone's good [do I even make sense?] and in the end, compromised that I can only go to my friends' house.

This is all so troublesome & sad, sigh.

(PS: Gone for only 2 days and it seems like everyone has moved to Tumblr. ._.)
(PSS: See? Everything's falling apart again. Everything's bursting at its seams.)
(PSSS: You can't break a broken heart.)

Giving up

** Edited at 200609 9:33pm **

Will be gone for a few days, so contact me via phone, because I won't be online for about 5 days! An emergency cropped up so yeah. Bye people, have fun + take care!!

** Ends Edit **

I rly hate that you are trying to push me out of your life. Don't try to deny it cus it's obvious. I don't know what you want, srsly. You promised me that things will be unchanged and our friendship will just be like normal, but here you are ignoring me and not trying to converse whenever I initate a conversation. I make lame jokes in an attempt to make you laugh, but you just "-.-/._." me and do you know how much that hurts? Because we used to be so close and now you're trying to get away from me because of that one silly fucked-up incident which you started. But you've apologized and I've forgiven you and we talked things out and I thought things were okay. I guess I was wrong.

Sigh if this is what you rly want then I guess I can't stop you, can I? I guess I just have to give up on ever being your friend again, cus this friendship was never the one you wanted. This was never a friendship you wanted to keep.

-

I rly don't understand people sometimes. :/ Sometimes I just don't want to make any more friends because people are so hard to understand and I don't know what they want. I don't know how to cater to my friends' needs and I don't know how to please them and I don't know how to make them happy.

The thing is, I try my best. I try to be the best that I can for them, I try to be the ideal friend that they want. I try, really I do.

It just gets tiring sometimes, just looking out for my friends and not rly taking care of myself and asking myself what I want and who I rly need in my life. I reckon it's time for me to be selfish and just stop caring about what my friends need, and focus on what I need.

And at that one moment when I just slacken, my friend will say that I am not cherishing the friendship and that I am neglecting her/him. And I just don't know what to do. I feel damn mean, but at the same time, I feel rly miserable cus apparently, she/he doesn't care about my happiness as well? That maybe, sometimes, I need to pamper myself and I can't just give in all the time to their petty requests? I mean srsly - will you wake up from your sleep at 3am and sneak out of your house to fetch a friend cus his bike had a puncture in the middle of the expressway and couldn't get anywhere? Alright, maybe some of you will. But man, he said I was a lifesaver - and then the very next day, I rejected his request to go to his house and play basketball with him cus I was tired, he said I am complacent. It's like, wow, thanks, thanks a lot.

It's just...... I can't be there 24/7, y'know? I would love to, and it's not impossible, but I wouldn't have time to myself and how fair is that?

I mean, you guys can't expect me to concede to all your requests right? I alr tried to give you the best of me [sounds so wrong but wtv] but you just can't seem to appreciate it. Everyone always zoom in on my imperfections, and always pointing them out to me. Um right thanks a lot, you just made me feel much better. Yes I know that some people's ways of comforting their friend is to scold sense into them, but telling me that being anorexic is stupid and only insecure and stupid bitches are anorexic won't help me at all. Telling me that being depressed is only for whiners and that going to a therapist is such a loser thing also won't help me at all.

I doubt that's even 'sensible' scolding.

And srsly, just because my views are different from yours doesn't mean you can call me stupid. You can argue your point, but there's no need to insult me, right? Telling me I'm stupid for thinking this way, telling me that I'm blind and heartless for opposing/supporting a particular cause.... how nice can that be?

Some friends even compare me to them, obviously putting me in a bad spot. Like, "Weiling always wear revealing clothes, like short shorts and tiny tees while I am more conservative - I like to cover up." A direct quote. Um like srsly, that's like trying to imply I dress like a prostitute. And you are supposed to be my friend. That's what so incredulous about it.

Man, I don't know. This blows. This fucking blows.

Stupid conversations

My neck is not broken, Huishan. :p


My hair is getting longer WOOHOO \m/ \m/ \m/

I went to Huishan's house today cus she was bored and she needed me to accompany her cus she loves me + loves my company cus I am entertaining [in a POSITIVE way, nevertheless] and hilarious [ditto]. :D:D:D

Anyway, she had to study cus her school is damn weird cus their mid year papers are after June holidays. HAHA! Loser :p


You like my twin pouches? ^^

Anyway slacked ard her house for a while, then I got hungry cus I only had 3 Macs hash browns for breakfast! So went down to Loyang Point's Shop & Save to buy food :> :>



HAHAHA was adjusting my shoes I LOOK LIKE GHOST \m/


You like my tshirt? ^^ It's SMILING at you HAHAHAHAHAHA



I am ~~happy~~ and all smiley [matchy matchy with my tee hehe] cus...


I GOT MY JUBES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!eleven!!!!!!!oneone!!!!!!!!!!!
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Hehehehehehe.



Once again don't want to take picture with me. Hmph! Next time I die you have nothing to remember me by. :p OK I mean, you won't have any picture with me of you smiling into the camera! YOU WILL REGRET OK.



Studying while I was slacking! Mwahahaha!
HAHA ok need to stop being so juvenile. -_-


Took a short nap cus this bugger made me wake up at like 7am T_T
Then I woke up and then we talked yakkity yakkity yak until I left at 9pm! :>

***

ME: There's a word to call those who marry young, like at 16....
HUISHAN: Since when?
ME: Uh the word is... um...
HUISHAN: I***** [pls ask me personally if you want to find out! WINKWINK]

-


HUISHAN: You look like a porn star...
*pause*
HUISHAN: ... wearing clothes!

-

*we are looking at this photo of a blogshop owner who is caressing herself*
HUISHAN: "Help my boobs are dropping!!!!"

-

HUISHAN: I am lmao-ing... lmao, L - MA - O!

-

*I am using her acc to talk to her church friend*
solar bear says:
Spoken like a true gamer
[c=7]History Maker™[/c] says:
HAHAH
what games do you play
solar bear says:
Nothing HAHAHAHAHA
I play PS2
I play FF!!!!!!!!!
[c=7]History Maker™[/c] says:
flying fingers?
solar bear says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
NO
FINAL FANTASTY
* FANTASY

-


ME: Cover-your-face-with-two-hands-or-one-hand-whatever-as-long-as-face-is-covered-pose!

-

HUISHAN: THE WORLD OF TEES! THE WORLD OF TEES! THE WORLD OF TEEEEES!!!!!

-

HUISHAN: *blowing bubbles in her milk tea [SO IMMATURE RIGHT I KNOW]* It's bubbling!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!1

*she does it again and again and AGAIN*

-

HUISHAN: Wahlau another bandage dress!!!!!!! SOON EVERYTHING WILL BE BANDAGE!!!!
ME: Bandage bra, bandage underwear....
HUISHAN: BANDAGE HEAD!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!! MUMMIES!!!!!!! Everywhere!
*pause*
HUISHAN: Let's go look at more bandages.

*few hours later, we come across someone modelling a bandage skirt in a provocative way*

HUISHAN: Bandage, bandage my ASS uh.

-

HUISHAN: It looks like skin without skeleton.

-

ME: Eh its a bowling bag!
HUISHAN: To put BALLLS.... (raises eyebrows and waggles them)

-

HUISHAN: Omg an ass skirt!!
ME: Huh?
HUISHAN: HAHAHAHAHA OOPS SEE WRONGLY IT'S ASOS!!!!

-

HUISHAN: My middle finger is retarded.

-

HUISHAN: Let's get EXCITED!

-

HUISHAN: Pick up your ears!

-

(looking at a constipated model)
HUISHAN: Omg something got stuck up her ass HAHAHAHA

-


HUISHAN: *holds up her Eeyore* This is a SQUASHED TOFU! See, it's slanted.

-


HUISHAN: *holds up a Domokun plushie* This is a shit cube!
*throws it to me*
HUISHAN: A bouncy shit cube.

-


HUISHAN: I have nice legs here.
ME: Hm?
HUISHAN: GHOST legs.

-

HUISHAN: IT IS SO HOTTTTTTTTT
ME: Haha you must feel miserable!
HUISHAN: I am a hot melting puddle of misery!

-

HUISHAN: Fan me.
ME: *fans*
HUISHAN: You're my FAN!

-

HUISHAN: Urgh I need a hurry-cane.

-

HUISHAN: Omg I can feel the computer heat!! Why is it so hot? OMG WHY IS THE KEYBOARD SO HOT?? *fans the keyboard*