You and I both

I want this ring! :(

Yes, I know, diamonds are nothing but pretty rocks.
They don't symbolize anything (except richness) and you can't say someone loves you deeply just because he gave you a ring (because some of them really too much money).

But they're pretty anyway. :)

Kiss me?

These 2 retards were at my house & Jennifer was happily liquifying + distorting my pictures -.-
I also don't know why I look so white. WHY AH????????
The original picture also very white!!

I think I look very fair in pictures but very dark in reality. Like apuneh like that, HAHAHA. Ok so not extreme. :)

Btw, my exams just started!! :) I just had my English papers yesterday, and today was Chinese Paper 1, letter writing + compo. I rewrote my letter writing 3 times hor! :D But I wrote like, literally nothing for my compo. Supposed to write about something that had touched me [emotionally] but I couldn't think of anything!!
ALL YOU PEOPLE'S FAULT LA, NEVER DO ANYTHING SWEET FOR ME. :x

Joking x2. :)

I just wrote some crap like "I can't decide what touched me the most as everything was very touching", HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH :x
Like so ridiculous hor?! -___- CONFIRM FAIL.

Going to study with Carolyn tomorrow at the library. :D Can't be bothered to travel to the airport anymore. I need someone to tutor me Maths la, urgh. Maths is the root of all evils. If it wasn't for Maths, there would be less killings and crimes.

You know why? Because Maths drive us to insanity. >:(

Anyway:

KISS ME PLSZXSZXS?

Wahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahhahaahahhahahahahhahahaahahahhaaha :x

I am such a dua chiobu!! *winks & bats imaginary long eyelashes
(Note the sarcasm, I'm not so thick-skinned)

I uploaded this picture because ... WHY LAST TIME I SO SKINNY THEN NOW SO FAT?????
Btw, I know, the Spongebob shirt = ugly.
And ... I miss my long hair :(


Oh come back to me, come back ~~~

Btw, look at what Guoxiong told me on MSN just now!

♥mrROYALTY I'm finally online! says (8:55 PM):
Wait breb
♥mrROYALTY I'm finally online! says (8:55 PM):
My room got insect
♥mrROYALTY I'm finally online! says (8:55 PM):
i scared
WEILING says (8:55 PM):
HAHA, okay!
WEILING says (8:55 PM):
SCARED OF INSECT?!

I specially make it bigger. Wahlau, 15 years old guy, but SCARED OF INSECT. -___-

Ok bye! :)
I can't believe how long it took me to post this super short post. Like 1 hour. Must stop doing other stuffs while blogging!!

Oh, one last thing ... NO SCHOOL TOMORROW YAY! :)

Vow

I AM GOING TO GET INTO TRIPLE SCIENCE.
IF NOT I SHALL KILL MYSELF!

(PS: I am going to die. :( Exams so difficult la wahlau.)

I miss the smell of just baked cupcakes

HUISHAN, I WANT TO BAKE CUPCAKES WITH YOU AGAIN WE SHALL MAKE A LOT A LOT A LOT AND I SHALL DEVOUR THEM ALL.

AFTER EXAMS, ALRIGHT :)

Btw, after like, MONTHS of not stepping onto the scales, I did so today because I've been eating a lot of processed food [NO ONE MAKE BREAKFAST FOR ME, OR LUNCH, SO HOW?!] and to my surprise, I lost 5kg!!!

:) Happy.

Go on and kiss the girl

My foolscap. Its vandalized beautified with more quotes but this one is one of my favourite :)



This was yesterday. :D Mr. Goh didn't show up for the first 2 periods of Maths, and the relief teachers didn't seem to mind me hearing to my MP3. Check out my pink earphones yo.

I think this was this Thursday. We went to Pizza Hut and I spotted a Malay tranny waitress. Or is it waiter?

I look like a man in this picture but Jennifer's expression is priceless, soooo .. :)
Btw, you know why she's so happy? Because she's disfiguring my pictures.
Nah, show you people pictures of a dua chiobu ;D










MELTING OF THE SEXINESS?
Stop wanking!!!

I am obviously being sarcastic -.-
We did more of other people, LOL! But don't want to upload la. Later these sensitive people scold me. Like how one already did. *raise eyebrows, HAHA.
Btw, I'm not so ugly hor! Eh, I miss my long hair all of a sudden.

Nevermind, at least it's not as hot. The weather nowadays = KILLER.



Happy bugger.

I don't understand lor, people say that I should be sad. But what for?! I've already apologized! Its up to him if he wants to reply or not. I'm not going to cry every single day and mourn about how stupid I am. How can I not care about my own happiness? So I must everyday keep these miseries inside of me la. SORRY, BUT I'M NOT VERY COMPASSIONATE OR REMORSEFUL. I don't see any point in regretting. I don't see any point in 'ifs'. I move on and learn from my mistakes. TOO BAD I'M NOT LIKE YOU, OR TOO BAD I'M NOT LIKE HOW YOU WANT TO BE!

Sheesh, when will everyone let me be me, and stop telling me how should I feel or do. Bah!

(PS: I've been having sweaty palms the whole day, and I knew something bad would happen, AND IT REALLY DID.)

If only,

it was yesterday once more.

I am so disgusted at myself for being so inhumane.

On a side note, if I ever get married, I want my wedding song to be Michael Buble - Everything.

(PS: Omg I hate Maths. Don't even understand anything in this stupid practice paper. GOD.)
(PSS: My oh my :D I think if you claim that you truly love someone, then don't be so cowardly and/or keep running away from problems. If not, it's not love.)
(PSSS: Okay, my itchy hands just had to go and cut my hair. I was so bored and sick of doing History and my hair was irritating me so my hands wandered to the scissors and SNIP SNIP SNIP I have ugly hair now, yay!)
(PSSSS: I think I'm very stupid.)
(PSSSSS: Is it just me, or is it that I'm the only one that finds regretting a waste of time? I don't like people who always go 'If only I did this' or 'What if I did that'. Its already done, so why ponder on it? If it goes wrong, instead of regretting, I'll probably go all "I screwed up, so now I'll learn from it.")

Who is your heart beating for?

God gave us two eyes, ears, arms, legs, feet and hands; but only one heart. It's because He gave the other one to someone else, and it's your job to find it.

I could never regret loving you because even if you don't love me anymore, I know that you once did. And that is the most wonderful feeling, because I never thought that I deserved your love in the first place. When I say, "I love you", it means that ... I accept you for the person you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you when you're in a bad mood or when you're too tired to do things I want to do. It means loving you when you're down, not just when you're fun to be with. I love you means that I know your deepest secrets and don't judge you for them, asking in return only that you don't judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough to not let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly and hoping that you feel the same way. When I say, "I love you", you'd better believe that I mean that with every fiber of my being.

Y'know, love is such a strong word. When we were little kids, we always thought that love was just about hugs, kisses and happiness. But as we grow, we learn that it's not just about happiness; it's about learning to accept rejections, tears and heartbreaks.

I was really sad since a few days ago, because I thought I stopped _____ _____, but I guess I was wrong.

Ahem, enough of this.

I woke up at 3am today to do my Art.
It was a futile attempt because I ended up writing all over my assignment "I HATE ART I HATE ART I HATE ART I HATE ART" and then I did more notes for history and I drank like 109828463742632 cups of coffee to keep myself awake. :)

I was so sleepy in school. First period was chinese, and I didn't bothered to listen or copy down any notes so I talked to Jennifer and I might be going to Jakarta with her :D
During recess, rushed my Art. We were supposed to use cotton buds to do it [pointillism] but I forgot to bring any so I just used ... ERASER to dot the picture. HAHAHA. I am so innovative. :)

By assembly, I was so exhausted, I couldn't concentrate on the performance so I asked Jingting to let me sleep on her back. So I slept throughout and after I woke up, JT was telling me about how much I missed out because Ms Xu went on stage and danced and it was really stupid + funny.

Went back home immediately after that. Carolyn had piano, Jennifer had maths tution [OR SOMETHING] so I just went home and studied some more. I'm such a good student :x

Next week is my final examinations. Depressing.

Deluded peopleee

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!111

I just read the most ridiculous blog entries (actually, 2) in my entire life. :x

Feels like tonight

Studying is killing meeeeeeeeeee :(
And I need to cut down on my caffeine intake, I keep drinking coffee or ice blended mocha and its making me so alert that it takes me so long to finally fall asleep. How to resist Coffee Bean, you tell me?!

Went there again today to study. After having lunch with Jennifer at some sushi restaurant. :D:D:D We talked about her having a boyfriend that was exactly like her [and as I described what he would do, she laughed even more and stumbled on every step and kept bending down to laugh and I did the same and said "Oh my shoes are so beautiful today" and she laughed even, even more], and that if she ever has a baby, the baby will not come out crying, but laughing instead since she laughs like 24/7. She laughs at the most unlaughable of things, even things like a public telephone, she was poking the coin hole and she laughed and kept poking it and kept laughing, oh dear my bestfriend is stark raving lunatic :(

She keeps imitating Dawn Yang and *Joey and *Andrea [names were changed for the sake of our safety] and its super funny and I laughed so much till my stomach really felt like rupturing. Truth be told, I really hate 90% of girls + boys they're so annoying and flirty and immature.

Carolyn is a meanie because she always run home after school :(

Btw there were 2 very giggly girls in front of my table while I was studying at Coffee Bean and it was so distracting their giggles are VERY high-pitched and annoying, hate girls with squeaky voices like mice, makes my ears bleed and my eyes burn and my stomach churns, oh my how drama mama.

I AM NOT ACTING LIKE MYSELF THESE DAYS.
And its all thanks to EOYs.

ITS OVER

Yesterday, after revising history, I was SUPER irritated with my fringe so I just snipped it off :)
Not so bad, ay. And Jennifer said I reallyreallyreally look like Mr Young [the radio DJ from 987FM] after she saw this -.-

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh Jennifer just left my house we spent the whole time in my house using Photoshop to distort people's faces using Liquify!! :B Anyway,

THANKS GUOXIONG FOR YOUR HELP + FILE TODAY I LOVE YOU AS A DADDY VERY MUCH :)

Anyway shall upload some pictures from today in class :D
3 periods of History today, but Mdm Nisha didn't come, and then Jingting + Nora asked me to tutor her history since I am such a genius so I did and then after 1 hour, we got really bored of studying so started playing and then Kelly saw my camera and wanted to use it so she took a LOT of pictures.

Eh ... let's just say she was very devastated because of fear of rejection and started going insane. I swear she laughed like every single second!

Ahem alright I am done :D
Oh yeah after we were dismissed, were elated to see Mr Goh outside our class and telling us that maths remedial was cancelled heeee so I accompanied Jennifer to the bank and then we ate at Macdonalds and saw Alicia and Raina and Joey and then she went to buy brown vintage beads and Japanese beads and quickly left for my house to piece them together and she was happy with them then she started realizing the wonders of Liquify on Photoshop and went on a mass-distortion spree by first distorting her pictures and then mine and then SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE haha my stomach hurts after laughing so much I swear if I ever find a boy that can make me laugh this much I'll marry him in a heartbeat :D

I love people who can make me laugh! And don't mind doing stupid things and goof around, because if they're too serious and uptight, it'll be oh so boring. + annoying, esp when they get pissed off at you when you do something really ridiculous [but fun anyway]!

Eh, btw, I think the best place to study in ever is at The Coffee Bean at Century Sq. :) Love that place so much I keep going there to study, alone or accompanied.

My title for my blogpost is the only reason that got me down today, but its alright ... I guess I'll just move on as usual :D

Muchluvs.

Remember the times when I held you close?
We spoke of things that gave me hope.
But it's all over now.

Decimation

Click on it for shocking proof that Albert is a transexual, and therefore is actually a girl.

-

Urgh, words cannot describe how much I hate school.
So much assignments, and exams are totally stupid. How can anyone judge our intelligence from some numbers? Has it ever occur to anyone that some people are just not good academically, but waaaaay better in other areas, for example, designing.
I don't see why must our future be determined by some stupid certificates.

Some subjects don't even help in what we are interested in, or what we aspire to be. I want to be a photographer, right? Will knowing chemicals help me? Will knowing algebra help me? Nooooope.

General knowledge is alright, like from maths, how to add and subtract and multiply and divide. From science, how does our bodies work and family planning and sexuality. From english, how to phrase words properly and be understood. And so on and forth.

But others? Not so much. Well, if you want to be a scientist or something, I guess knowing chemicals and whatever helps. But do everyone wants to be one? Exactly my point!

If I was the government, I would make everyone stop schooling when they're P6 and then let them choose what they want to do. But there'll be tests, duh. For example, if they want to be a photographer, test if they know how to operate a basic camera and how to change the modes, etc. If they want to be an author, test if their english is actually readable. As long as they have the basic knowledge and the foundation, let them further study on it.

And not confine them and force them to study things WHICH WILL BE TOTALLY USELESS FOR THEIR FUTURE!!!

-______________________-

Anyway, I don't know why I'm so sad nowadays. I mean yes I laugh like a lot in school [YOU TELL ME HOW NOT TO LAUGH WITH JENNIFER AROUND?!] but whenever I'm alone or whatever, I start thinking, which is alright, but then I end up thinking too much and I end up forcing back tears.

I don't know when I became this despondent!
I also don't know why I keep dreaming of myself dying lor.

Like, in my dreams, I either end up being:

1) Raped and killed
2) Murdered
3) Shot
4) Stabbed
5) Kidnapped and killed
6) Drowned
7) Burnt alive
8) Eaten alive (?!)
9) Stomped to death in a riot
10) Tortured to death [gruesome to the max]

I think the worst one was when I was surrounded by my family and my friends, and they were very happy and chatting amongst themselves, and they were totally oblivious to my very existence, and they couldn't feel me when I touched them and it turns out it was because I am invisible and when I realize that, I slowly fade away, starting from the feet to the head. And disappear.

Then the ending will be just all my family and friends, still very happy even though I am not around anymore.

And I wake up.

I'm totally amazed

Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow WOW.

Thats all I have to say.

At least now I know where the fuck do I stand in your heart.
At least now I know why you never seem to care for me.

Because, me being sad, and comforting me, IS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME TO YOU.
Whereas your other friends are totally worth comforting and consoling of.
When I am supposed to be your fucking BESTFRIEND.

I, a BESTFRIEND, is NOTHING compared to your GOODFRIENDS or NORMAL FRIENDS.

You have no idea how much that hurts.
You have no idea how much YOU'VE FUCKING HURT ME.

You claim that I've never told you about how I feel. Let me tell you now:

I FEEL HORRIBLE.
I AM NOT OKAY.

Big enough for you to see?
Now do you understand? Do you want to feel my pain too? Do you know that pain surges through my body everyday, every minute, every second? There's never a stop to the pain. There are bruises all over me, scars all over me, but they're invisible to you. You, along with everyone else, are oblivious to my pain.

"No one has ever been nice to me before. Now I feel so weirded out when people are nice to me, its such an unusual sensation to be treated nicely. Don't be nice to me, alright? I don't deserve these niceness. I complain too much, and I whine too much. Just let me be nice to you people, and never be nice to me. Thank me for my help, but that will be all. Don't be nice to me, please don't.

Please let me stay in my shell, please don't ever comfort me. Please don't ever come near me even when I'm crying, don't even try to touch me. Don't touch me, because then you'll feel my pain and burn along with me."

Well, guess what?

I lied. I'm just trying to convince myself that even if I'm not treated nicely, its okay. If I'm not loved, its okay. If I'm not hugged, its okay. If I'm not touched, its okay.
So what are you going to do about it?
Absolutely nothing.

I am so assured of that. I am so assured that one day, I'll be all alone. I'll just die and be buried deep in the Earth and I'll decompose to nothing and everyone will forget who I ever was. I'm nothing, I'm not even a 'memory'.

'Obliterate what makes us weak' ... what makes me weak is humanity. But how can humanity ever be obliterated?

Its amazing

, that some people will never learn from their mistakes and never apologize.

Nevermind, continue laughing it off. :D
We'll see who'll have the last laugh in the end.

-

Ok, can't be bothered to upload everything.
Pictures from last Friday's guides (which was the one of the slackiest Guides meeting I've ever attended, yes [ala Dawn Yang]! :D)

Yesyes, I'm ugly ... so what else is new? :)

Alicia wants to kiss you, muuuuuuacks ~



Slacker -.-

And today when I went out with Jennifer to study at Changi Airport!

Haha totally embarrassing, went to TCC to eat and we ended up with not enough $ to pay & had to beg Albert to come down & top up the rest but then there was this staff that was really nice & gave us a discount. :B

I was like, "Ohmygod you have no idea how much I love you right now" HAHAHAHAHA.

'I am NEVER coming here again, or eating with you!'
- Jennifer



For some reason, I look like a man here -_-
My fringe is irritating me, but not $ to go cut it. :( Sighzxszxs.

Btw, I don't know why people keep wasting $ by going to cinema theaters to watch movies. I've found a website that has super high quality of movies [not movie6.net or whatever], & its like ... free [ok, fine, it adds to the internet bills but whatever] so, maybe I'm just weird like that. Haven't stepped into a theater for eons already.




"I want to be Dawn Yang!!!"
- Jennifer



HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.



She totally looks like a paedophile here. Totally manzxszxs.



My boyfriend is so handsome. :x

Alright, I'm tired.
Bye.

(SIDENOTE: Btw, don't ask me to put up a tagboard. Just click on 'Comment' below the post. Very easy :B)

Sheesh

I'm so sick of people asking me if Albert & I are still together
Yes we are, ok.
I didn't know he had to "bring me to school", "bring me back home", "spend recess with me", "help me take books back home", "help me bring the box of cookies back since its so heavy" or WHATEVER just to quality as a boyfriend.

I am very independent and I don't need someone to escort me to places or help me whenever I'm struggling. I go to places by myself [yes I know I complain that I have to go to places alone sometimes, but I don't really mind] and I help my ownself.

This whole "bring you to school" and "bring you back home" is stupid anyway. If you love your boyfriend, why trouble him to wake up earlier on school days just to bring you to school. -___- People are tired, and they need their sleep.

And yes we don't celebrate months, is that a problem, and does that even signify that we're not a couple -.-
I don't like to celebrate months, I prefer years, so yeah. So stop asking.
And stop saying that Albert has to do this and that to be a 'good' boyfriend.

I appreciate your concern obviously, but really, its getting a bit ridiculous.

Rain on me

I am very tired, just came back from Guides.
Had to carry a big box of 6 tins of cookies back home by myself :/

just how much do you people want to torment me?
everytime, you get into trouble, you expect me to bail you out.
no more of this, this will be the very last time you're going to expect me to bail you out.
and .. just how much do i have to continue giving?
i am so tired of giving and giving and giving, and people complaining that ITS NOT ENOUGH.
i've always consoled people when they need me, no matter how much i despise them.
i've always helped people when they ask me to, no matter how exhausted i am.
i've always tried my best to help, and people are telling me that ITS JUST NOT ENOUGH.
why, why is NO ONE capable of ever being nice to me, and telling me that they APPRECIATE what i've done for them?!
instead of telling me bullshit like, "oh my friends are nicer" or "you very good meh -.-" or stuffs like that.
well, yea i know, sometimes people are just teasing me and fooling around, but seriously, every single goddamn day? stop this, stop telling me that i'm not good, or that i'm not a good friend/person whatever 24/7. YOU'RE NOT VERY PERFECT YOURSELF!
see, nobody understand this simple logic which is nobody is perfect. even if they use the phrase before, they don't seem to apply it. look, i'm not perfect either ok? yea, sure, go on, say things like 'he/she is nicer, he/she is friendlier, he/she is kinder, he/she is sweeter". YEA SURE, JUST GO ON BECAUSE I HAVE NO FUCKING FEELINGS AT ALL, RIGHT?!
i mean, who cares if i cry every night knowing that NO ONE APPRECIATES WHAT I'M DOING FOR THEM? who cares if i cry every night knowing that I'LL NEVER BE SHOWN APPRECIATION?
nobody really cares anymore.
all they care for is themselves.
i'm sick of sacrificing my time for other people.
if you people are just going to make use of me for your own advantage. then why should i bother anymore? why should i bother to download songs for you? why should i bother to design blogskins for you? why should i bother to create an avatar for you? why should i bother to create animations for you? why should i bother to ask my father to burn the photoshop cd for you so you can download photoshop to your computer? why should i bother to advise/console you? why should i bother to even help anyone at all, when its such a thankless job?
i'm not even expecting gifts or anything, all i want is just a simple "Thanks so much :D" or "I appreciate this a lot :)" and no, "thanks" is not counted. its so insincere.
then again ... apply the same logic to myself: nobody is perfect.
so yea, maybe i should just continue doing favours for other people, and i should continue expecting nothing back from them.
i have a give-and-take life. i give and people take.
they just keep on taking and taking and taking, as if i'm just born to help people and nothing more.

Love

This isn't goodbye, even as I watch you leave, this isn't goodbye

I swear I won't cry, even as tears fill my eyes, I swear I won't cry

I love you. Not maybe, not tomorrow, not someday. But right now, at this very moment. I need you, I trust you, and I miss you. And you can be wrong most of the time, and we can fight and be mad at each other, but nothing, nothing in this world can change the fact that I love you.

Don't cry out

Ok so I was bored and watching MTV yesterday when Neyo - Come Closer video came up and then when I saw this part:



And suddenly I was hit with a wave of inspiration and today I did this!



Ok I know its not that nice [very sleepy] but whatever, I like it.

-

I swear, when you're with Jennifer, you can NEVER not laugh and NEVER study. I'm totally serious, this girl laughs 24/7 and distracts you like a lot so you will NEVER get work done!

And after you bid your goodbyes, your stomach will hurt like mad from all the laughing you have done. :D Unless you're like, some serious, uptight person that don't laugh at all.

Anyway!!

I swear my uncle is trying to make me want to have kids after he heard that I am never going to have kids! He just sent me this pictures:









My cousins, btw.
AND SO ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!! D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:
I swear I was very close to changing my mind, until I remembered that they had to cut your vagina to get the baby out and then you might DIE if there's too much blood lost so ... NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO I AM NOT GOING TO BE BRAINWASHED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Besides, when they grow up, its going to be a horror.

Btw, when I went to the post office today to collect my parcel with Jennifer, there was this man at the counter. When he was done, he said, "Thank you very much for your help!" with a very genuine smile. Then I quickly swiveled my head to Jennifer and I said, "Oh my god I think I just found the man of my dreams." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :x

I mean, where got people, especially BOYS, so polite one?!?! Usually you'll just say, "Thanks" and walk off, right?!

Anyway I was kidding about the 'man of my dreams'.

Exams are starting in like 12 days, gosh!! :( :( :( :( :(
I hate exams to the max! I think exams are really stupid. How can they judge our intelligence just from exam results?! Sheesh!
I also hate all these sexuality education talks! Or career talks! OR TRAFFIC SAFETY (WTF DO WE LOOK LIKE P2 KIDDOS) TALKS!!!!!

I don't CARE if they're "concerned" about our lives! Ok, fine. Some of them are useful. BUT I THINK IF WE DON'T WANT TO ATTEND, WE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO JUST SKIP! AND NOT BE THREATENED TO GET DETENTION!

Jesus. Can't they get it in their head that there are some very sensible & mature people [like me :x] and DO NOT NEED TO GO FOR THESE STUPID TALKS TO UNDERSTAND SIMPLE LOGIC LIKE 'DON'T HAVE SEX WHEN YOU'RE STILL A MINOR' AND 'UNWANTED PREGNANCY' OR WHATEVER?!

Sheesh, yes fine there are more than 12,000+ abortions in Singapore a year and 10% of them are teenagers which make it an approximate amount of 1,200 abortions done by teenagers. Yes thats a lot, but seriously ... you adults have repeated to abstain from sex or avoid premarital sex for like a gazillion times, we know. Ok?! SHEESH!

Ok whatever, I'm going to go read my Baby Blues comics.