Awwwww

I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for their religion - I have shudder'd at it. I shudder no more. I could be martyr'd for my religion. Love is my religion. And I could die for that.
I could die for you.
- John Keats

***

It is quite funny how beautiful the world is but how ugly the people that lives in it are. We are all ugly. We all are selfish, hypocritical, hypercritical, superficial, greedy, demanding, possessive, controlling, whatnot. All of us have this similar flaws, but somehow, we don't find it in ourselves but find it in others. And we hate them for it, we come up with false rumours and exaggerated stories and we try to outcast this person, without ever realizing that he's not that different from us. In fact, we are all so similar in terms of personality and character, except some of us are more of a particular attribute than the another.

And really, rumours are after all, just rumours. They are not the fucking truth, so why believe it? And believe what the rumours say about a person, when you do not know the person yet?

And why look at me and immediately judge me, when you do not know me?

Let's tackle all the stupid shit people have labeled me:

01. Flirt/Whore/Slut/Shameless

I'm not going to lie - yes I've flirted with guys. And so? None of you have ever flirted with someone that you like? None of you have ever tried making a first move to hook the person that you like? -_- And it's not like I flirt even while I'm attached. -_-

Besides, I don't flirt with all the guys I see. Um, and hello, talking to guys does not equate to flirt. Laughing over jokes with a guy isn't flirting, having a guy friend doesn't mean we're fuck buddies, hugging a guy who is my friend doesn't mean I'm a straight-up whore and would totally put a dick into my mouth at any time of the day.

It's not really my fault that I'm comfortable in my own skin even around people of the opposite gender. Sorry girls, you can't call me a flirt just because I managed to make your crush/boyfriend laughed over a joke, neither can you call me a flirt just because your boyfriend and I are on talking terms.

And sorry guys, you can't call me a flirt just because I let a guy who is my friend hold me around the shoulders for just a few seconds before I shrugged him off or lie on my laps. Hey wait - so a girl can lie on a guy's lap and it's cute + the guy can boast about it, but if a guy lie on a girl's lap, the girl is a slut and is obviously not a virgin + if the girl boast about it, she's an attention-seeking whore who is clamouring for all the guys in the world to put their dicks in her mouth. The fuck?

02. Bossy/Braggart

Just because I often scream at the class to shut up and listen to the teacher. *roll eyes*

Wow, I get it all now! A GUY CAN ORDER PEOPLE AROUND AND BE A LEADER, BUT A GIRL CAN'T! -__- A guy can say, "Shut up!" and sound totally macho and cool, but if a girl say, "Shut up!", it is totally retarded and she must obviously be trying to come off as a leader. Plus, she is obviously 'acting fierce' when she's such a dog. Duh.

Oh and I'm the class chairman [NOT BRAGGING, THIS IS A FACT] so I actually have the right to silence the class when it's too noisy. -_-

And I'm a braggart just because last year, I happily tell everyone that I have straight As, ignoring Chinese and Art. I'm bragging when I told that Chinese HOD that I had 6 As when she asked me for my results. I'm bragging when I blog about my results. I'm bragging when I tell people that I am first in level for English/Literature.

Newsflash sweeties: it's not bragging, it's BEING PROUD OF MY ACHIEVEMENTS.

And why should I not be proud of my own self? -_-

Plus, people can be such hypocrites. They say that my results are just average with a scornful look, and when they get back their results, which is either just a few marks higher or lower than mine, they'll exclaim to their friends, "Yay!!! I aced this paper, I am so proud of myself!!"

.... goddamnit urgh what the fuck is wrong with you???

Besides, everyone has their bragging moments. Everyone wants to be recognized by their efforts to get a particular achievement, so actually, everyone has an inner braggart.

03. Undeserving of the good luck thrown to me/Ingrate

Hah?

...................

Hahahahahhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

God, I don't know about you, but I'll hardly call my childhood an enjoyable one! Let me call you a rough idea: born fatherless, lived quite happily, father came back, found out father was alcoholic and abusive, days in and out of the courthouse, appeared in the news negatively, changed... several things about me and moved houses couple of times before we settled at Tamps.

;)

So damn right, I deserve the good luck/fortune I have right now!!!

Alright, now my life has settled and yes I am fortunate to have a mother and a father, albeit not my biological one, I am fortunate to live in a mansionette, I am fortunate to have money and I am fortunate and blessed to have found such amazing friends + a very caring boyfriend. :D So.

FUCK THE PEOPLE WHO SAY I DON'T DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, BECAUSE I DAMN RIGHT DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!

And me, an ingrate?

I appreciate every damn thing people have done for me, I even remember strangers' act of kindness and I still haven't forgotten the auntie who brought me across the road, shielding me with an umbrella when it was raining, I still haven't forgotten the provision shop aunties back at Woodlands who always give me free candies because they knew about my family, I still haven't forgotten my Woodlands' neighbour who helped my ahma sewed clothes and her daughters whom were my playmates and I still haven't forgotten the policeman who carried me back home when I fell down and scrapped my knee really badly and I couldn't really walk.

Needless to say, I obviously haven't forgotten what my family and friends have done for me, all the sacrifices and kindness and love. :) It will be an neverending list of thankyous if I listed them all out.

So, no. I'm not an ingrate and I never will be, because that's just not... me.

Woo, what a long post.
Toodles. :D