an overflow of words

Some people can just move on, y'know. They get angry, they cry a bit, and the next day, they're feeling as fine as fucking sunshine. But while they're enjoying their life, someone else is crying, tears incessantly falling. It's like a fucking tap that's rusty and is taking a hard time to turn off. And even after they cry it out, the feeling of loss is still there, lingering in their souls. Their throats feel strange, like a huge lump is deposited there permanently, and their stomach hurls at every single thought of who they've lost. There is a fierce sting behind the eyes, and a sharp ache in the chest. It's unadulterated torture, and while they're suffering, the other person, they're as happy as a freed bird - hanging out with old friends, making new friends, and completely forgetting you.

What I would like to do to these people, is to ask them, how the fuck do you do it? And I'll beg them for an answer, scrape at their toes, and beg and plead and beg and plead until my voice is hoarse and my throat is dry. How do you move on so fast? How do you let go so fast? Have this person ever meant anything to you? Have you ever love her? Why are you so happy? Don't you love her? Even if you don't now, didn't you love her once? How the fuck do you do it, forgetting every single fucking thing that happened in the relationship in just one fucking day, or a few fucking hours? Have you ever love her? Or have you stopped loving her for a long time - is that why it's so fucking easy for you?

This hurts so much, do you have any idea? People tell me, life goes on. But what if I don't want it to? What if I want to arrest it, stop it, or even battle against the current into a past I don't want to be past? People also tell me, you'll get over it. I don't want to get over it. I don't want to become used to the fact that he has left. That was the last thing I wanted, the last thing I've ever dreamed of. But then again, you can't always get what you want. So what am I supposed to do with all this love? All this love that I have for somebody who doesn't want them? All this love I have for somebody who loves someone else? Do I suppress it? Do I ignore it? Am I supposed to give it to someone else? What? What the fuck am I supposed to do?