an overflow of words

I miss you, but I'm trying not to care anymore. I lost you because you are meant to love someone else. You lost me because I am meant to love someone else too. It is a very simple fact, but it is so hard to swallow, because I'm too stubborn to let go of something that doesn't belong to me anymore.

Why do I find it so hard to let go? Why do I have such difficulty accepting the inevitable, dealing with what's right in front of me - what can't I get over something I can do nothing to change? I guess I hope too much. Hope for the best, hope that you're still holding on when the truth is you're long gone, up, up, up and away. You love someone else now. So why can't I forget you as well, and love someone else?

There's a fine line between faith and naivety; sometimes we're too in love to see that line and so blindly cross it. Well, I'm done being naive. For the past few weeks, I've been such a mess. I am a mess. And when I look at you, you are absolutely fine. You don't care at all about me anymore and it hurts because we are so far from where we used to be. You used to care, I used to be happy. You are wonderful without me, and me, I am miserable. Tell me - how is that fair? I mean, I know life is unfair, but this is fucking ridiculous. You made me feel like the loneliest person on Earth.

But that was the past. I'm doing okay now. I've been feeling happy, even while thinking of you. The memories used to drive me absolutely fucking insane. The good memories, the bad memories. But now, now I'm fine. I don't cry anymore. I've finally deleted all the messages I've saved from you. I've finally deleted all the pictures I have of you. I've finally changed your name from the moniker I gave you to your real name.

And I've let go. I don't cry at night anymore. I don't cry over you anymore. I'm happy for myself, and I'm happy for you. I was a bad girlfriend, and I know you deserve better, and you've done it in such a short time, so congratulations to you. As for me, I'm so grateful for all my friends, who've been there for me.

And I'm so grateful for my family, especially my mother, who've been a great help in cheering me up with her crude jokes and insults. And my brother, who've been harping on the fact that I've been dumped twice in a year, but I can tell he's secretly worried for me (when he popped in my room in the middle of the night and asked if I was okay because I was crying. WTF scared me I thought it was a ghost at first).

So....... yup. I'm done. I'm done with making myself upset, I'm done with making people worried about me, I'm done with being pathetic.

IT IS A NEW YEAR AND IT IS TIME TO ROCK OUT WITH MY COCK OUT YAY

(PS: I suck at ending my posts, if you've not noticed.)
(PSS: I am aware that I do not have a cock.)