an overflow of words

I woke up this morning and I began to cry. I thought to myself, “Here I go again”. I woke up and thought to myself, “I need you, I miss you.” Why am I so dependent on someone else to make me happy? It’s horrible. It should be my job and mine only, to make myself happy. It’s my job to fulfill my own needs, it’s my job to take care of myself. But, I can’t. I’m always relying on someone, I always need that shoulder to cry on; that pillar of strength. Truth is we should be our own pillars of strength. And from now on, I'm going to be my own pillar of strength. I'll choose to be happy, and I'll just close my eyes whenever I see you around. I'll tune out your voice, and whenever I hear your name, I'll refuse to travel back to my memories with you. I'll be strong, not just for my family and friends, but for myself as well.

I solemnly swear that from today onwards, I'll force myself to forget everything I know about you, and move the fuck on. I'll direct my unfaltering love for you towards something else, like photography or writing or reading, and I'll just patiently wait for the day that you'll stop tugging at my heartstrings.

"Love is always a good thing no matter how much it hurts. Even after it’s over, even through the pain, anyone who has ever really loved will tell you that they never regretted a second of it, no matter how much it hurt in the end. And if you tell me differently, I will tell you that you were not truly in love."