I'm tired of being the ugly friend

I guess that as you grow up, you trust less and you expect less out of people.
Promises are empty, love is difficult.
Nothing lasts, forever is just a beautiful lie.

Look, we've lived for less than 20 years, and yet how much have we been exposed to? We've learn that mankind is evil, for its the only species in the world that kills each another. Lions don't kill lions, snakes don't kill snakes, spiders don't kill spiders. The most poisonous and venomous and dangerous of animals, they don't kill each another. Only humans, for we kill each another in all sort of heartless methods - either we shoot with a gun, we stab with a knife, we bomb with a grenade/bomb, we rape and then kill, we kidnap and then kill, and there are even humans that eat other humans. Some even use love to kill.

We also learn that setbacks are often, that happiness is short-lived, that innocence and kindness are often a pretense to lure you into a trap, that human will stoop to all sorts of level to ruin you. With each passing day, as we learn more and more, grow more and more, we also hurt more and more, until every breath you draw in causes pain in your body, in your blood, in your bones. Your head will start to throb when you think, because you're in pain. Every day, you're in nothing but in the purest of pain. You'll be burning, hours later, you'll still be burning. And when someone touches you, she will burn along with you. Touch you, and she'll feel your pain.

"She had been so sure of her everyday life - you wake up, you make coffee, you send those you love off to school and to work, there is rain or it's sunny, you're late or you're on time, but no matter what, those who love you will love you forever, without questions or boundaries or the constraints of time. Daily life is real, unchanging as a well-built house. But houses burn; they catch fire in the middle of the night, like that house over on Sherwood Street where the son was smoking in bed and everything disappeared in an instant. No furniture, no family photos, only ashes. Well, it's ashes Jorie tastes now, ashes in her mouth, on her hands, beneath her feet. The fire had come and gone, and she hadn't even known it. She'd just stood there while it swept through the door."
- Alice Hoffman, Blue Diary

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I hate Mondays the most! It took me 45 minutes to finally get up today, and then I walked to school. D&T was okay, it passed quite quickly to me.
Maths .. -.- I don't understand anything! We're currently doing sets. Totally lost. :l

Ate at the hawker center opposite EV after school, and then Jennifer's mom drove me to the bank, and then I deposited money and went home. I'm having a terrible headache. Have to push it away, stop thinking about it, and maybe I'll forget that my head is even hurting.

Time to study Weiling, time to study.

(p/s: Forgot to add, while eating my noodles, Carolyn & I agreed that celebrating birthdays are a big waste of time (ok fine, to me it is, to Carolyn, she just can't be bothered to celebrate)! To me, its insignificant. Like, I don't care if its the day of your birth, whats so special about it when a million others are born on the same day as you?! I've never celebrated it with my friends before (only once, when I was P5, with Joanne & Sheena at Snow City :x Oh, and during kindergarten, its like a tradition to celebrate everyone's birthdays, so that one is bo bian one la!) and only with my family. :D I only want to celebrate my birthday when I turn 16, 18, 21, 50, 100. :B Other than that, I'll usually just sleep my birthday away! Or spend it doing unproductive things, hee :x)