Recollection

The girl in this photo grew up to look like this.........


And then there was me in 2008...


(Ok I'm just putting this up to show off the DSLR that was mine for a few days before I had to return it to it's original owner. :D)

Long hair in early 08, and then...


Short. Anyway, the second picture was when I was healthy! As in, not anorexic. I think I was about 48kg? And then I started starving myself and things pretty much took a spiral downwards from there....


When I was anorexic.

Anyway, I starved myself because I believed myself to be hideous and that nobody loved me and that I was alone. I was also pretty depressed. My weight dropped from 48 to like, 32? And I didn't tell anyone, I pretty much kept my insane dieting to myself. It was a tough period, because I felt that no one cared - a delusion that no one cared, and I sunk so deep till I was depressed.

It was very tiring, because I had to go to school and I acted as though I was happy. Usually, I'll go home after school and cry, just cry until I fall asleep. That led to an irregular sleeping pattern which affected my physical condition, which was already worsened because I wasn't eating every day.

Nobody could tell that I was in such deep shit, because they couldn't tell.

I mean, you put on a facade every day and pretty soon you'll be a seasoned pro at it. You will be able to hide it from your family, from your boyfriend, from your friends, even your best friends. Because you've become so damn good at concealing your feelings.

I was diagnosed around August 2008 (would not rather explain how...) and I was given antidepressants and I was sent to a therapist and I was told to keep a diary that wasn't personal, because my therapist had to read them to understand my problems in school, at home, etc.

Anyway, I got better. I never told anyone but I'm just writing it here today because... well, it has been so long. And I'm not ashamed of this secret anymore. I'm of a healthy weight now btw. :)

This is just a summarized version of everything, which is good enough. :D

No matter how long it takes, it will get better. No matter how many tears fall there will always be a time when your eyes drop crying and your eyes start shining again. Just know that everything will be all right no matter what you, he or she thinks. Because life is nothing but a big elastic band. Stretched to one end, it will always bounce back to the beginning, in the end.