an overflow of words

I couldn't sleep yesterday. I was tired, but I couldn't fall asleep. Tossing and turning in my bed; trying to drown out my thoughts. It has never worked, so it is no surprise it didn't work yesterday. I was suffocating in my bed, the calamity of my problems engulfing me so I got up and walked to the park. I sat down at one of the bench and watched the skies changed its colour. It was pitch black and I was afraid at first, but it was a nice distraction from my problems. The night was so still, so deafeningly silent. It almost drove me insane, but it was nice. I didn't have to think about anything or anyone. It was just me and the trees and the stars and the moon and the silence of the night, and for once it felt like my life wasn't a big mess. It was an ephemeral joy, though. Morning joggers pounded by me and I fell, fell all the way from my dreams to my reality. I have forgotten what it means to live.

Today is Sunday. Today is Sunday and I talked to my therapist. Today is Sunday and I talked to my therapist and she has doubled my dosage.