Hai

Been staying at home the past few days & studying. Like, seriously studying. :p
Besides, was just discharged, I'm supposed to stay at home & rest. Tmr is my 3rd month, Friday I'm going to Pulau Ubin, Saturday I'm going to 85 and need to be home early cus my relatives from Australia are here to visit. Can't wait, cus they always bring back loads of gum for me, teehee \m/

Anyway I've been thinking a lot (since most of the time I am alone by myself - I actually am getting used to it! By it, I mean staying at home and being by myself) & reading a lot & writing a lot. I actually wrote about 5 long posts but I've never published them cus I know no one would be interested enough to actually read all of it & also cus I know that, well, people would criticize. :/ I've purposely mentioned this to my friends and they are like, "You are so free!" & they've never asked to read it. Ok it is illogical to get upset over it but I am, cus it's like, well, if you care enough about me, you would care enough to read, or at the very least, skim through my essays...

Ok nevermind.

Been buying loads of items, I have my new wallet ($16), new bag ($24), new shoes ($33) and tons of new clothes. Ok they're not literally new, but they're all BNWT or never worn, so yeah. That reminds me - need to alter this pair of jeans which are too big for me. Except that I am bankrupt now. -.- -.- -.- My mom was like, "New wallet but no money to put inside. Shame!"

On a random note, I want a tattoo:



Nothing much to blog about, except for this particular reply Ms Nah sent me:

Date: Tue, 23 Jun 2009 23:19:34 +0800
Subject: Re: Regarding story-writing competition
From: ***@gmail.com
To: ***@hotmail.com

Ok, no worries.

but anyway, i've signed you up for debate for National Literature Festival. you're not going to back out on this. I need your calibre for the team.

....... wish me luck.

(PS: You know it's time to stop drinking peach tea when you've been to the toilet 4 times in a timespan of 10 minutes.)

Question

In the early 3rd century BCE, the Greek philosopher Epicurus wrote:

Either God wants to abolish evil and cannot,
or he can but does not want to,
or he cannot and does not want to,
or lastly he can and wants to.

If he wants to remove evil, and cannot,
he is not omnipotent;
If he can, but does not want to,
he is not benevolent;
If he neither can nor wants to,
he is neither omnipotent nor benevolent;
But if God can abolish evil and wants to,
how does evil exist?

Anyone out there that will bother to answer me? :)

Back

Ok not 5 days as expected (but I still won't be online for 5 days). I was released early (ok you can guess where I was gone now)! :D

I am sorry to the people I've disappointed, esp my family. :/ I am sorry I don't know what I was thinking, it's just that I was overwhelmed at the moment of time and it just sort of happened and I couldn't be more sorry for that, + it was Father's Day the next day + it was also your 6th anniversary married tgth. I am sorry for spoiling everything & I am sorry for being such a disappointment for a daughter.

Anyway, I am back & I rly miss NORMAL food... am craving for black pepper crabs so badly! & butter prawns & satays & pratas. But now they issued me this stupid diet thing which my parents are taking so srsly, it is so sad cus it is all veg and healthy. I am also not allowed to drink cold drinks [unless they're herbal or good for me]. This sucks!!! I am also not allowed to go out but I'd rather die than stay here & rot & be so close to my family whom I've disappointed so badly so I put up a fight which actually worsened things but I guess it was for everyone's good [do I even make sense?] and in the end, compromised that I can only go to my friends' house.

This is all so troublesome & sad, sigh.

(PS: Gone for only 2 days and it seems like everyone has moved to Tumblr. ._.)
(PSS: See? Everything's falling apart again. Everything's bursting at its seams.)
(PSSS: You can't break a broken heart.)

Giving up

** Edited at 200609 9:33pm **

Will be gone for a few days, so contact me via phone, because I won't be online for about 5 days! An emergency cropped up so yeah. Bye people, have fun + take care!!

** Ends Edit **

I rly hate that you are trying to push me out of your life. Don't try to deny it cus it's obvious. I don't know what you want, srsly. You promised me that things will be unchanged and our friendship will just be like normal, but here you are ignoring me and not trying to converse whenever I initate a conversation. I make lame jokes in an attempt to make you laugh, but you just "-.-/._." me and do you know how much that hurts? Because we used to be so close and now you're trying to get away from me because of that one silly fucked-up incident which you started. But you've apologized and I've forgiven you and we talked things out and I thought things were okay. I guess I was wrong.

Sigh if this is what you rly want then I guess I can't stop you, can I? I guess I just have to give up on ever being your friend again, cus this friendship was never the one you wanted. This was never a friendship you wanted to keep.

-

I rly don't understand people sometimes. :/ Sometimes I just don't want to make any more friends because people are so hard to understand and I don't know what they want. I don't know how to cater to my friends' needs and I don't know how to please them and I don't know how to make them happy.

The thing is, I try my best. I try to be the best that I can for them, I try to be the ideal friend that they want. I try, really I do.

It just gets tiring sometimes, just looking out for my friends and not rly taking care of myself and asking myself what I want and who I rly need in my life. I reckon it's time for me to be selfish and just stop caring about what my friends need, and focus on what I need.

And at that one moment when I just slacken, my friend will say that I am not cherishing the friendship and that I am neglecting her/him. And I just don't know what to do. I feel damn mean, but at the same time, I feel rly miserable cus apparently, she/he doesn't care about my happiness as well? That maybe, sometimes, I need to pamper myself and I can't just give in all the time to their petty requests? I mean srsly - will you wake up from your sleep at 3am and sneak out of your house to fetch a friend cus his bike had a puncture in the middle of the expressway and couldn't get anywhere? Alright, maybe some of you will. But man, he said I was a lifesaver - and then the very next day, I rejected his request to go to his house and play basketball with him cus I was tired, he said I am complacent. It's like, wow, thanks, thanks a lot.

It's just...... I can't be there 24/7, y'know? I would love to, and it's not impossible, but I wouldn't have time to myself and how fair is that?

I mean, you guys can't expect me to concede to all your requests right? I alr tried to give you the best of me [sounds so wrong but wtv] but you just can't seem to appreciate it. Everyone always zoom in on my imperfections, and always pointing them out to me. Um right thanks a lot, you just made me feel much better. Yes I know that some people's ways of comforting their friend is to scold sense into them, but telling me that being anorexic is stupid and only insecure and stupid bitches are anorexic won't help me at all. Telling me that being depressed is only for whiners and that going to a therapist is such a loser thing also won't help me at all.

I doubt that's even 'sensible' scolding.

And srsly, just because my views are different from yours doesn't mean you can call me stupid. You can argue your point, but there's no need to insult me, right? Telling me I'm stupid for thinking this way, telling me that I'm blind and heartless for opposing/supporting a particular cause.... how nice can that be?

Some friends even compare me to them, obviously putting me in a bad spot. Like, "Weiling always wear revealing clothes, like short shorts and tiny tees while I am more conservative - I like to cover up." A direct quote. Um like srsly, that's like trying to imply I dress like a prostitute. And you are supposed to be my friend. That's what so incredulous about it.

Man, I don't know. This blows. This fucking blows.

Stupid conversations

My neck is not broken, Huishan. :p


My hair is getting longer WOOHOO \m/ \m/ \m/

I went to Huishan's house today cus she was bored and she needed me to accompany her cus she loves me + loves my company cus I am entertaining [in a POSITIVE way, nevertheless] and hilarious [ditto]. :D:D:D

Anyway, she had to study cus her school is damn weird cus their mid year papers are after June holidays. HAHA! Loser :p


You like my twin pouches? ^^

Anyway slacked ard her house for a while, then I got hungry cus I only had 3 Macs hash browns for breakfast! So went down to Loyang Point's Shop & Save to buy food :> :>



HAHAHA was adjusting my shoes I LOOK LIKE GHOST \m/


You like my tshirt? ^^ It's SMILING at you HAHAHAHAHAHA



I am ~~happy~~ and all smiley [matchy matchy with my tee hehe] cus...


I GOT MY JUBES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!eleven!!!!!!!oneone!!!!!!!!!!!
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Hehehehehehe.



Once again don't want to take picture with me. Hmph! Next time I die you have nothing to remember me by. :p OK I mean, you won't have any picture with me of you smiling into the camera! YOU WILL REGRET OK.



Studying while I was slacking! Mwahahaha!
HAHA ok need to stop being so juvenile. -_-


Took a short nap cus this bugger made me wake up at like 7am T_T
Then I woke up and then we talked yakkity yakkity yak until I left at 9pm! :>

***

ME: There's a word to call those who marry young, like at 16....
HUISHAN: Since when?
ME: Uh the word is... um...
HUISHAN: I***** [pls ask me personally if you want to find out! WINKWINK]

-


HUISHAN: You look like a porn star...
*pause*
HUISHAN: ... wearing clothes!

-

*we are looking at this photo of a blogshop owner who is caressing herself*
HUISHAN: "Help my boobs are dropping!!!!"

-

HUISHAN: I am lmao-ing... lmao, L - MA - O!

-

*I am using her acc to talk to her church friend*
solar bear says:
Spoken like a true gamer
[c=7]History Maker™[/c] says:
HAHAH
what games do you play
solar bear says:
Nothing HAHAHAHAHA
I play PS2
I play FF!!!!!!!!!
[c=7]History Maker™[/c] says:
flying fingers?
solar bear says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
NO
FINAL FANTASTY
* FANTASY

-


ME: Cover-your-face-with-two-hands-or-one-hand-whatever-as-long-as-face-is-covered-pose!

-

HUISHAN: THE WORLD OF TEES! THE WORLD OF TEES! THE WORLD OF TEEEEES!!!!!

-

HUISHAN: *blowing bubbles in her milk tea [SO IMMATURE RIGHT I KNOW]* It's bubbling!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!1

*she does it again and again and AGAIN*

-

HUISHAN: Wahlau another bandage dress!!!!!!! SOON EVERYTHING WILL BE BANDAGE!!!!
ME: Bandage bra, bandage underwear....
HUISHAN: BANDAGE HEAD!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!! MUMMIES!!!!!!! Everywhere!
*pause*
HUISHAN: Let's go look at more bandages.

*few hours later, we come across someone modelling a bandage skirt in a provocative way*

HUISHAN: Bandage, bandage my ASS uh.

-

HUISHAN: It looks like skin without skeleton.

-

ME: Eh its a bowling bag!
HUISHAN: To put BALLLS.... (raises eyebrows and waggles them)

-

HUISHAN: Omg an ass skirt!!
ME: Huh?
HUISHAN: HAHAHAHAHA OOPS SEE WRONGLY IT'S ASOS!!!!

-

HUISHAN: My middle finger is retarded.

-

HUISHAN: Let's get EXCITED!

-

HUISHAN: Pick up your ears!

-

(looking at a constipated model)
HUISHAN: Omg something got stuck up her ass HAHAHAHA

-


HUISHAN: *holds up her Eeyore* This is a SQUASHED TOFU! See, it's slanted.

-


HUISHAN: *holds up a Domokun plushie* This is a shit cube!
*throws it to me*
HUISHAN: A bouncy shit cube.

-


HUISHAN: I have nice legs here.
ME: Hm?
HUISHAN: GHOST legs.

-

HUISHAN: IT IS SO HOTTTTTTTTT
ME: Haha you must feel miserable!
HUISHAN: I am a hot melting puddle of misery!

-

HUISHAN: Fan me.
ME: *fans*
HUISHAN: You're my FAN!

-

HUISHAN: Urgh I need a hurry-cane.

-

HUISHAN: Omg I can feel the computer heat!! Why is it so hot? OMG WHY IS THE KEYBOARD SO HOT?? *fans the keyboard*